Our Little Secret ||Historical Lams Oneshots||

Gone

listen to the song while you read (thanks to TheBookworm1237 for suggesting it)

"What are you doing?" John asked skeptically as I braided his light ponytail in the wide field. "Shh," I said, plucking some wildflowers next to me. "You'll see," I bit my tongue as I weaved the flora into the braid. "And... done." I carefully laid the short plait over his shoulder. The bright yellow buttercups and dandelions contrasted brightly against his blue uniform. John took it in his hand and chuckled through his nose. "You're such a child, Alexander," he said, shaking his head. He leaned back against me and I draped my arms around him affectionately and pressed my lips to his head. "I love you."

~~~

I held my seven-month-old son -Philip- in my arms, gazing fondly into his bright blue eyes. He yawned softly as my wife, Elizabeth, stood in the doorway, a piece of paper in her hands. "Hello, my dearest," I whispered as Philip's eyes fluttered closed. I glance up at her, my smile faltering as I see her worried expression. "What's bothering you, my love?" I ask, not moving from my position in fear of waking up the sleeping child. "I don't know if it's as much as a bother to me as it will be to you, darling..." she says quietly. "It's about your friend John Laurens..." I feel a slight color rise up my face.

~~~

"What are you going to do after the war?" I mused to John as the sun set in front of us. He shrugged. "I don't know, I've never really thought about it," he admitted. "I think I might stay with the army." I held back a sigh of disappointment. Closing my eyes, I rest my head upon his shoulder and feel him pull me closer by snaking an arm around my waist. I move my face to nuzzle his neck, and he hums in pleasure.

~~~

"Is the letter from him?" I asked. "If it is, you can leave it on my desk; I'll read it later." Elizabeth shook her head, her eyes starting to glisten. "It's not," she said. "It's from his father." My eyes snap wide open. Why wouldn't John write to me directly? He knows how much I value him- his letters.

~~~

I pull John's shirt off as we stumble backwards onto the bed. He puts his hands under mine and pulls me up until I'm completely pressed to him. I run my hands down his bare back, my fingers racing over his shoulder blades and down his spine in a desperate attempt to memorize his shape. Our lips connect, moving in sync, full of passion, of desire, of need. My legs straddle around his hips and I flip over so I'm positioned above my lover. "Promise me," I said, quietly but forcefully. "Promise me that you'll write while I'm away." John digs his fingers into my red curls and pulls my face down to his, bringing our mouths together once more. He breaks the kiss after years, his face still only a hairsbreadth from mine. "I promise." And our lips meet again, locking into a wordless expression of love.

                                           ~~~

Eliza strode over to me, offering me the letter. "Would- would you read it to me?" I asked. I stand up and lay Philip into his crib as Eliza begins the letter.

"On Tuesday the twenty-seventh, my son was killed in a gunfight against British troops retreating from South Carolina."

I feel a lump form in my throat and I let out a sob. "No..." Elizabeth swallows before continuing.