(Alex)
I miss John. He was sent south in March to form his black regiment of three thousand men. I support him fully, as I always will, but it's strange not having him with me.
Of course, he only sees me as a friend.
He is so much more to me.
But it's forbidden, my head says. You can't love him.
But you do, my heart argued. And the only way to find out if he loves you is if you tell him.
I sat down on the bed with a huff. I don't know what to do; should I take the logical route and do what my head is telling me, or risk our lives but finally get it off my back and follow my heart's advice? I groaned in frustration.
After a few more minutes of internal arguing, I finally make up my mind and go to my desk. I take out a piece of paper and a quill. I dip my quill into the inkwell and hold it just above the paper.
What are you doing?
Just write. You know you want to.
No! If you're discovered, you will both be killed!
You love John. Tell him.
I set the tip of the quill on the paper and start to write.
My dearest Laurens,
I wish I could put into words what I feel for you. The way youNo, I don't like that. I crumple it up and toss it across the tent. I bury my face in my hands, trying to come up with an idea that could express the true feelings I've acquired. Suddenly, I get an idea.
Sitting up straight, I take out another piece of paper and start scratching away with my quill.
My dearest Laurens,
Cold in my professions, warm in my friendships, I wish, my Dear Laurens, it might be in my power, by actions rather than words, to convince you that I love you. I shall only tell you that 'till you bade us Adieu, I hardly knew the value you had taught my heart to set upon you. Indeed, my friend, it was not well done. You know the opinion I entertain of mankind, and how much it is my desire to preserve myself free from particular attachments, and to keep my happiness independent on the caprice of others. You should not have taken advantage of my sensibility to steal into my affections without my consent. But as you have done it and as we are generally indulgent to those we love, I shall not scruple you pardon the fraud which you have committed, on condition that for my sake, if not your own, you will always continue to merit the partiality, which you have so artfully instilled into me.
Yours,
A. HamiltonI admired my work. I will admit, it was a bit forward, but it'll have to do.
I folded it up and stuck it in my pocket. "Oh, John, how I wish you were here with me!" I whispered to nobody in particular. I stepped outside, the northern early-spring chill still in the air. Taking a breath, I untied my horse-coincidentally a gift from John-and mounted it.
I kick its sides and start trotting out of camp, squinting against the midday sun. I ride into town and keep a steady pace until I see a young messenger. (I don't know how this works bear with me)
"Excuse me, lad!" I called. He looked up at me, his green eyes dull. "Could you find someone who could deliver this letter for me?" I asked, pulling the paper out of my jacket. He nods. "I would be willing to, sir." he says, taking a step closer to me.
"You shall be willing to ride to Charleston?"
"Aye, sir."
"And you've delivered many letters before?"
"I have, sir."
"What is your name, boy?"
"Nathaniel. Nathaniel Darwin."
"Have you no elder siblings, Nathaniel?"
The boy shook his head. "I am the only one in my family, sir, besides my mother." he said tentatively. My heart went out to him. I dismounted and handed him the letter, along with some money I had socked away in my uniform. "Here is the letter and something for your help." I said. His eyes lit up as he took the coins. "Thank you, sir!" he exclaimed. I told him where to find John and waved him off, watching as he got seated on a small horse and headed away.
I ran my hand through my red hair, praying that the boy wouldn't open my letter and that he made it safely and quickly. He seemed to know what he was doing.
I rode around town for a short while, then headed back to camp. I tied my horse up on a post of my tent and headed inside. I smiled, knowing John would soon realize the true feelings I held for him.
The only thing I could do now was hope he felt the same.
____________________________________
Like I said, I don't know how messaging worked, so we're gonna pretend that's how it happens, k? K.
We're also gonna pretend this plot makes sense because I don't exactly know what happened to it.
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Our Little Secret ||Historical Lams Oneshots||
FanfictionJust some historical Lams oneshots for me to write down when I get an idea in the middle of the night Fluff, ANGST >:), mild smut (every once in a while) the first few are really cringy but they get better i think I'm really bad at descriptions His...