The Hidden Card || NCT MAFIA

Chapter twenty-eight: Friend's advice

Taeyong let go of Jeno immediately, as if he couldn't stand the proximity anymore. He played with his rings nervously while Jeno put a hand to his neck, taking deep breaths.

Kun didn't move, or say anything. He had always been the quiet type, always listening and paying attention to details most people wouldn't even notice or care about. Like the fact that Jeno's breathing was uneven, probably due to the bomb he literally dropped on their leader.

Kun suspected he was mostly shocked by his own emotions. He then looked over to Taeyong, who was now running shaky hands through his hair while biting his lip, sign that he was thinking hard.

"I-I..." Jeno tried to speak, but the words struggled to come out of his mouth in a full structured sentence.

He eventually decided it would be better to stay quiet for the moment, not sure about what he wanted to say anyway.

"Jeno, why don't you go back to your room for the evening?" Kun eventually offered.

The boy vigorously nodded his head, grateful for his hyung giving him a way out after the mess he had put himself in.

Without another word or even a glance back, Jeno quickly got out of the tensed room.

Now that it was only Kun and him, Taeyong allowed himself to let out a sigh.

"I knew it..." he muttered, but his friend heard him nonetheless.

Kun didn't respond and took a seat in one of the empty chairs facing the desk.

"I knew he liked her... but fuck, he loves her," Taeyong spoke with more confidence this time. "I should have seen this coming..."

"Hyung, stop."

The mafia boss took out a cigarette and a lighter from his pocket and brought it to his lips, welcoming the toxic nicotine in his lungs like one would do with fresh air.

"So Jeno likes her," Kun spoke again. "So what?"

"So what?" Taeyong repeated, angry. "So everything!"

"Look, I know we never explicitly talked about this but we both know what's going on between you and Iseul..."

"Oh, yeah? Well care to explain it to me? Cause trust me, I don't know shit about what's going on between her and I!"

Kun let him yell all he wanted. He knew that was the only way for his leader to calm down eventually. Well, that or punching his frustration away, and right now, Kun definitely preferred the yelling option.

"You love her," he gently said.

It wasn't a question; it was a statement.

"I do."

This time, Taeyong hadn't yelled. He sounded defeated, as though he had lost a battle. A battle against his own feelings, apparently.

"And she loves you."

Then again, another statement. Except this time, Taeyong didn't seem as convinced by Kun's words.

"You see that's the problem," he replied, "I don't know about that."

"Did you guys talk about it?"

"Sort of...? But that was a while ago, just before I lied to her face again and again."

A puff of grey smoke escaped Taeyong's lips as he played with the half-smoked cigarette between his fingers.

"You should tell her. The truth. All of it."

Taeyong let out a sad laugh, and he looked up at Kun with eyes empty of joy.

"You know when I asked you to become my counselor, I never expected you'd take the job so seriously you'd give me advice on my fucked-up relationship."

Kun smiled, "Well that's because you never had a real relationship in the first place before. You see, you tend to shut your feelings off whenever someone tries to get too close to you. You have these walls -what am I saying- this fortress built around yourself that is impossible to get through. You never let them down in fear of being hurt like you've been in the past. You never allow yourself to be happy, because you're scared and because you feel like you don't deserve it."

Kun's words, like always, hit him right in the chest, but Taeyong showed nothing of it. He simply listened.

"It's easier to ignore your feelings rather than to face them. But the thing is, Iseul got to you somehow. And I'm sure I speak for all of us when I say that we all saw the influence she had on you. How you changed when she was around us. She grew on you, there's no denying it."

Kun paused for a second and took the time to observe the man sitting across from him. The only clue that Taeyong was feeling something was the small frown on his face.

"I'm not saying that as your counselor, I'm saying this as your friend, hyung. You need to sort things out with Iseul because it's getting to you on another level and we can't afford any step out of line right now. Our family's slowly growing apart but we need to be united more than ever before. This is affecting everyone and our work. We can't let that happen," he added.

"Are you saying I should cut her loose?" Taeyong asked, looking at Kun straight in the eye.

"I'm saying you need to sort your feelings and relationship out before it eats you alive and us with it."

Kun was right, of course. He always was. His view on things always helped Taeyong in a way no one ever could. He was grateful for his friend and his honest words. He just hated himself for needing it. He should be able to do that on his own.

"I can't tell you what to feel, hyung. Just do what you feel is right."

Taeyong scoffed. One thing he had never done was to listen to his feelings. That's the only thing he forbid himself to do, and yet, here he was, being controlled by emotions he didn't even want to feel in the first place.

"Thank you, Kun."

Such words were rare coming out of Taeyong's mouth, but his counselor knew how grateful he was. Still, it didn't hurt to hear it clearly from time to time, and Kun left, a content smile plastered on his face.