bad alive {dong sicheng}

27

keni marched out of her car, storming up to the two lost looking little lambs in the middle of the airport. she put her hands on her hips, looking incredibly smol and yelled up at lucas, "i told you that you couldn't come!" she announced.

lucas looked down at the short girl and smiled from ear-to-ear, happy that she was well enough to yell at him, "and i told you not to try anything dumb but here we are!"

keni snorted and put aside her annoyance. she had to admit that in the short period of time that she had gone MIA, she missed to tall boy and she jumped up and down, asking for a hug. 

lucas picked her up and hitched her legs around his waist, spinning both of them in circles, laughing with joy. he stopped to snuggled his face into the crook of her neck and sighed, "i missed you so much. don't do that again"

keni just nodded and melted into the warm embrace, continuing to fail to notice winwin's presence.

she opened her eyes and made direct contact with the boy, who was staring at keni and lucas's interacting with a twitching eye and she instantly grew cold.

"why is he here?" keni asked lucas.

lucas let her down onto the ground and held her hand, "honestly. i don't know," lucas shrugged, come on i need a good nap."

keni stared at winwin for a while and sighed, deciding to address him, "well what are you waiting for, come on," she motioned for him to follow as well. 

in the car, winwin sat in the back, continuing to be mute as he watched keni and lucas.

lucas continued to smile brightly, his energy infecting even keni, who was usually dull and dismal in contrast. they completed each other so well, winwin thought and sat back in his seat.

at a red light, lucas tugged on the sleeves of keni's shirt as well as the fabric on her sweat pants, he laughed mischievously, "whose clothes are these i wonder?"

keni rolled her eyes, "they're yours. i stole half your closet before i left."

"i know. that's why i didn't pack anything to come here," lucas replied, satisfied with himself.

keni broke her focus on the road for a fraction of a second to give her best friend an affectionate glance and ruffled his hair. 

while lucas was busy poking his head out of the car window like a golden retriever, she watched the car mirror, seeing how winwin was doing. 

she hadn't seen him in forever and he looked even more tired and worn out then when she remembered. the dark circles on his eyes now became permanent eye bags and his hair was grown out, in desperate need of a haircut. what color that his face had previously contained, was now replaced by a sick greenish hue and keni's heart clenched, wondering what has gotten the love of her life so stressed.

winwin opened his eyes and keni averted her eyes from the mirror and back onto the road in front of her as she parked in front of the worn down house. 

"it's no luxury hotel," she commented and got out of the car, desperate to get winwin out of her line of sight. she sped up to her room and lucas sighed, following so that he could be there for her.

unsure of what to do, winwin set down his luggage in the dusty living room and sat on the cold marble floor. she was alive and she was somewhat well and that was all he needed. winwin made the resolution to leave the next day, knowing that lucas would take care of the girl well.

but something in him made him want to stay, he was tired of running away from her when his heart yearned for her. his eyes stung at the thought of lucas and keni hugging and comforting each other up the stairs and he took deep breaths.

he watched the sun go down from the window, head full of thoughts as he finally stood up and stretched his stiff body. he walked soundlessly up the stairs and pushed the door to the bedroom open to find lucas sleeping like a baby on keni's bed, the girl nowhere to be found.

finding it a little odd, he looked around the other rooms and found her laying in the middle of yet another empty, dusty room. he walked to her side and sat down, afraid of provoking her.

"hey," he spoke softly and keni's eyes popped open, staring at him incredulously. 

she inched away from him, "hi."

"how have you been?" winwin asked, a little hurt.

keni squinted at him, in disbelief that he would ask such an annoying question. her nerves were already ticked off and she took a deep breath, "hm. what an interesting question sicheng."

"i meant it," winwin looked softly at her, "how have you been keni?"

keni's voice was barely a whisper when she answered, "alive but not living."

winwin nodded, his heart breaking into two, knowing that he was the cause, "me too."

keni stared at the moon outside the window, "you know why i was laying here?"

winwin shook his head.

"because laying next to him makes me feel warm and happy. when i sit in here i'm reminded that nothing's actually happy and that it's all fake," keni confessed.

"if he makes you happy, why are you running away?" winwin was curious.

keni stared at him for a long time, "because someone else made me even happier before all this."