Countryhumans incorrect quotes (Mostly Malaysia)

Vent

Hi guys I'm sorry if I was mean to you guys I just can't take it when people said to me like "Hah I knew it your still a loser" or " Our friend ship is over I really dont want to see your face anymore" people keep telling me like that then voices in my head keep telling me that "Your worthless" , "No one cares if you die" , " Does you family realy loves you like I mean they once told you your useless " Then my parents keep comparing me with other children even my cousin and friends then one of my friend joke about depression and anxiety but I was hurt from that word because im suffering for that. One time when I was 8 y.o theres this one boy who pulled my chair when i was sitting and people started laughing at me. Am I a joke to you guys ? And I keep losing friends every year even my online friends they just dont want to talk they think im a joke to them. When I was little  my cousin died and because of covid my mom friend got covid . My stupid little brain tells me that everything is fine but its not . When some times my parents just yells at me because of your siblings . Almost every night I've cried my self to sleep just because of this and if one of my bullies is reaeing this im sorry if i did something wrong for this to happend . Im sorry everyone