darby eden is a lovely mess of words and thoughts. and isn't italy such a wondrous place to be healed?
"Only those who love feel this frightened hope, and I never wished to succumb to such a grandiose nightmare."
"Per te, mio sole."
"Per te, mie ste...
"Edward." I smiled as I ran my fingers through his hair. He laid in my lap on a couch in the studio. Mitch, Sarah, and Jeff had gone to pick up dinner as well as Charlotte, Ny Oh, and Adam from the airport.
"Quite the middle name, isn't it." He laughed, pulling my pinky down with his own and resting it on his chest. "It really is."
Home by Edith Whiskers "Darby Eden, what is yours?"
I cringed, "Goodness, when you say both my names like that it sounds so unbearably cheesy." He tilted his head back to meet my eyes as I laughed.
I ignored his question, "Is that rain outside? I can hear it!" It's not that I was embarrassed. I loved my middle name so much. But it told quite a story I wasn't sure if I had the time or energy to tell. Or the courage.
"You're ignoring my question." He mumbled as I kept on about the rain.
"The sound is so comforting, isn't it?" I chuckled, eyes now sparkling with tiny beads of water as I smiled it away.
Harry sat up immediately, turning to face me. He placed two hands cupped on my cheeks and I caught my breath.
His breathing was slow, steady but unmistakably anxious. He looked at me for a long time. And as comforting as his eyes were, I was horrified of every possibility my brain made up, what he or I could possibly say that could ruin it. But his eyes were quite the distraction, as light a green as they were.
"Darby," He started and I panicked. "I l-"
"Oh my go- Don't say that. I- Don't. Please no-" I pulled his hands down from my now tear streaked face and tried to hold them in my hands. What he was saying, I wasn't ready, and that layered on top of what I hadn't told him... but It felt so overwhelming all at once, I no longer knew what to do with my hands. I dropped his in his lap, buried my face in them, ran them in my hair, held them on my heart to make sure it was still there, stared at them. I thought I heard him saying my name but it was barely audible and my eyes were too blurry. I shook and it scared me so badly I shook more. But he stopped me. He pulled me back down from my pacing, wrapping his arms around me until no inch of the imperfect world could touch my skin. I wheezed, feeling idiotic for uncontrollably freaking out over what I thought he would say. He didn't even say it. ...He didn't say it.
"You are safe, nothing can hurt you right now. Remember that please Darby." I nodded my head, childishly. "I understand you. And I want to understand you more. I'm so sorry, god, I'm so so sorry I scared you. I want you to trust me, to be comfortable, I wasn't thinking." He brushed strands of my hair out of my face.
"Don't you dare be sorry, I want to let you in, I keep pushing you further— I keep-" I shook my head, wanting to push words out of me but finding none for the moment.
The silence I was ever so afraid of wasn't so bad. It only gave me time to think while he held me tighter than ever in his arms. I rubbed my hand on his arm.
'My middle name is Anna.' It sounded nice saying it in my head, didn't it.
"You're too good for me."
"You think too highly of me." I said quickly.
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