An irish mob leader and A cop [Narry] (boyxboy)

chapter 44-Pessimistic Niall

Sorry for waiting u, guys.. I updated my other books and tried to create 2 more books in my head.. They will be 'stockholm syndrome'.. probably one narry, one zarry.. decided to the plots but not all the characters and the details of stories yet.. Also, I was so busy in these days.. But I will make up to you.. and I am gonna write 2-3 chapters in a row right now.. And gonna update tomorrow as well.. Things will get super excited.. Hope u enjoy.. xx

Niall's POV

It was so awful yesterday.. until that make up sex.. Yesterday morning,I felt shit because of treating Harry so bad.. Harry ended up crying at the bathroom on the hall, Paul found him, he didn't wanna come back to our room till the last minute.. Then.. I wanted to end my suspicion..

I made that stupid plan.. Since I woke up, I had that strange feeling.. I was so anxious.. so sad.. so aghhhh I couldn't even describe it.. I knew that plan was so risky, so bad, and I shouldn't do that to Harry.. I felt guilty.. even before we did the plan.. but .. still wanted to do it..

And... I didn't think Harry could learn about that, so I just shrugged it.. ignore the fact.. that was a wrong thing to do.. I should just trust him.. in that subject.. about love.. He couldn't act so many things.. couldn't get risk of being shot.. I just knew that he loves me too.. Why need to test that then? Loyalty.. needed to be tested,I guess..

When Harry noticed that I set-up all of these and left the mansion, I thought he wouldn't come back to me..come back to mansion.. and that would mean.. that we broke up.. I was so sad.. We called all of our bars, pubs and we found him.. I relaxed a little.. And when I saw him in the mansion.. I was so relieved, so happy.. That meant we didn't break up, he didn't leave me.. I thought.. we could fix everything in days.. or in a week..

But.. that didn't even take that long.. took just hours.. Harry.. He was just perfect.. at handling problems.. At first, he had break down, burst out but then.. he confronted me, wanted to make 'the talk' immediately.. He didn't postpone it, or didn't make a silence treatment or something.. I liked that.. I put that "sleeping in the same bed even if we got mad each other" rule because of this kind of things.. And.. Harry let me see his all feelings; his love, his anger, his disappointment..

If he didn't love me, he could cheat me with Zayn.. or didn't care about this set up thing.. He didn't cry that much.. He didn't have disappointment and anger on his face.. Yeah, he was probably a bloody cop, but now.. at least I was sure that he loves me as much as I do love him.. He was loyal to me.. I could even die.. in peace.. now..

I just wanted to be next to Harry.. I would just help him and sleep with him.. That was more than enough for me at that point.. But after the confrontation, Harry forgave me.. He somehow understood me.. He invited me to bath with him.. I was so glad to that.. Then I took my chances to make it better.. 

Harry let me to touch him and kiss him and we ended up having a make up sex.. That was just so f.cking perfect.. Harry slept in my arms immediately after that sex.. He looked relaxed.. more peaceful.. God.. I loved him.. 

I thought why risking losing him? I was so damn stupid.. We maybe wouldn't have much time together.. Maybe we would have another bust or something and I would die next week.. How do we know? I had risk in my life all the time..  I became  a little pessimistic in these days...

So I thought... I should just have more fun..I should enjoy being with him.. every minute.. everyday.. I should just live the day.. 

I decided to spend more time with him.. more sex with him.. more lunches and dinners with him.. Briefly..I wanted 'more' Harry..

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So the next day, when I woke up.. I saw his innocent sleepy face and kissed his cheek, brushed his hair, I didn't wanna wake him up.. I just changed my clothes and went downstairs.. I wanted Paul to prepare us breakfast.. Paul said he already did that.. He felt sorry about yesterday as well.. Even if it wasn't his fault..