An irish mob leader and A cop [Narry] (boyxboy)

Chapter 126- 'Home'

Josh's POV

This couldn't be happening... I felt like the times my parents getting divorced and I found myself at streets..  Worse than that..

First, Niall was too depressed, angry at all times. Harry left mansion. Niall went to a suicide mission. We went after him to save him. But we were pretty late. He had bloods everywhere. I couldn't be as brave as Tom.. F.ck me!! 

If I went near Niall.. If I could be like Tom.. Maybe Niall would not be at hospital right now!!.. 

I was such a dissappointment.. At least, I felt that way...

He is like a big-brother to me.. He is my brother.. The family I didn't have before..

I had noone and Bobby Horan took me in this mob. But I was just like a passenger, waiting next stop to get off from this train.. I just had nowhere else to go at that moment.. That was it.. I was going to leave that mob one day.. That was for sure..

But after Niall came and became leader. He made the mob like a 'Big happy family', u know.. That you never ever wanna leave..

Before him, noone was knowing each other much, not talking much. Everybody was working alone or working with just one person, so.. knew only that person in mob. We worked in worry..

Niall made Shamrock Pub the main center building. He made a little office for himself to there. He wanted everyone to gather there. He made '1drink free for mob members' rule. He was saying Liam our pair, wanted us to tell whatver happened in job to Liam or Zayn. We were taking more bullets/guns from Liam. We were getting paid in envelopes like old times and Liam was giving it to us.. So we all had to go that pub this time or that time of the day.

Niall kept changing our pair. 1 week I was with Tom, 1week with Calum, the other week I was with Luke, etc. Sometimes we were all in one car. Even if it wasn't necessary for all of us to go to mission. He was trying to make us know each other better. 

In a week, Niall wanted Zayn, Liam and Tom to move into The Mansion. He wanted his best men to be safe and secure at all times. He was so close with them. I kinda get jealous.. I wanted to be that close to Niall.. But it was like a dream that can't be true..

I wasn't that powerful guy or brave.. I was just an ordinary guy, kinda nerd of the class kinda guy. I wasn't even useful to him or mob probably. I always imagine myself like I am saving Niall from a bullet, jumping in front of him, or something. Like Zayn did, he saved Niall from dirtycops u know.. 

Truth is I was never that person.. So, I would be the guy in shadows again.. I knew that. And I was ok with that. 

But I couldn't stop myself from going to Shamrock pub in my all free times. I was staying in a dirty cold small place anyway. The pub was warmer. And I wasn't alone here. There were always so many people here. I like reading some books, listening music, drinking my free beer.. I even had a corner, I always sat there till pub was closed.

And after one point, this took Niall's attention I guess. I didn't think that would take someone's - anyone's attention actually.. Because I was the shadow boy- invisible man.. 

That's why, when Liam said that "Niall Horan wants to see you", I thought I did something wrong. This was it, I was gonna be fired. F.ck my luck..

But when I got into his room, he said things like..
"I noticed that you are always here till pub is closed. U have problem at home?" ,
"If you have a problem, you can tell me you know that,right?",
"I am responsible from you",
"I should know the problem, so I can help you"

and I did the last thing I should do.. and cry.. 

Nobody asked me if I was ok or not- or- what was my problem.. Noone cared about me.. for a long time..
I just.. wasn't expecting to hear these from him..or from any other person. So that broke me..