Daily Life of Exo

The Shit Brigade

"But hyung!" Sehun stomped his foot, accidentally dirtying Kris's new fresh kicks. Kris groaned and pushed the younger into the corner of the table. Sehun grabbed his hip and held in his manly tears.

"Because that's absurd! What makes you think you can teach someone younger than you? You're only 20! Besides we don't need another shitter around here!" Kris sighed and rubbed his temples. See the problem was Sehun's only friend, Jungkook, wanted to learn the shitting ways, much like Sehun.

"But hyuuuuung...." Sehun whined even more and eventually got his ways. Kris had enough and stormed out of the apartment to go to the mall so they can clean his shoes. Sehun smirked and ran to his room giggling and pulled out a special box labeled "Sehunz stuff dnt touch".

Inside were a few basic things; his latest CD of Kidz Bop 28, the 64 pack of crayons, some stickers, dirty magazines, and some construction paper.

"What's up Se-" Kai walked in the room with a juice box in his hand but immediately dropped it when he saw what Sehun was doing. Oh no Kai though. Earlier that week, Kai had borrowed Sehun's crayons to draw a missing dog poster for Monggu, who had escaped while Chen and Xiumin rode their razor scooters in and out of the dorms. While coloring, and may I add, a very bad drawing of Monggu, Kai had broken the crayon he was using, which also happened to be Sehun's favorite color; blue.

"H-hey there buddy.. What are you doing there?" Kai asked Sehun wearily. He really hoped Sehun wouldn't notice that his favorite crayon was broken.

"I'm organizing my supplies. I have to sharpen my crayons for later." Sehun stood up with the box in his hand and walked out of the room but not before looking back at a very nervous and curious Kai.

"I'm going to show Jungkook the ways of shitting."

-

"First step.." Sehun grabbed his pointer (which was just made of markers taped together) and pointed to the very first rule of shitting.

"When in doubt, push it out. Don't forget, if you feel unsure, just push. Chances are your just constipated but nothing a little pushing can't fix!" Jungkook nodded and scribbled in his Camp Rock notebook Suga, his group member, had given him for his birthday.

"What's next?" Sehun chuckled at the boy and his eagerness to learn the shit industry.

"Next, you eat whatever you see. Prunes are a good example. You eat the prunes, then wait, young grasshopper."

Jungkook interrupted, excited to learn more.

"What about laxatives?"

"Now now, Jungkook, you're not that advanced yet... Or just hang around Minseok and you'll get a wiff of those laxatives like the time I ATE LAXATIVE BROWNIES I HOPE YOU CAN HEAR THIS HYUNG I KNOW WHAT YOU DID!" Sehun fumed in anger when he remembered the New Year's event Kris made where they shared their resolutions.

"Ahem, sorry I was emotional. Anyways! That's it for today. Take this." Sehun handed Jungkook a chart titled "shit shart" instead of shit chart in gold glitter. Clever Oh Sehun! Sehun patted himself on the back for the brilliant name.

The chart consisted of 7 rows and 5 columns. The vertical columns were ratings from very big, big, medium, small and none. The 7 horizontal rows were the days of the week. Sehun instructed Jungkook to record his daily shitting and report back to Sehun every two days.

"And here," Sehun pointed to the mini-board above his desk. "We have the good noodle chart. If you do your homework correctly, you can earn all stars and be considered a black belt in shit. Understand?" Jungkook nodded and smiled.