Daily Life of Exo

The New Year

The 12 happy Exo boys gathered 'round their Christmas tree and told their favorite stories from 2014. The year had came and went in the blink of an eye for them. They went through good times, for example, when Junmyeon had went to the store and found a pack of 20 kitchen utensils for sale, and bad times. Just like when Sehun shit his pants over 4 times. Promotions and comebacks were soon going to happen, so they all took this time to be together.

"So what did you dorks write?" Kris asked as he tapped his fingers on the carpet. They all shrugged and continue to write down their new year's resolutions.

"Aw, diddly darn!" Yixing exclaimed. Everyone turned to look at the distraught boy.

"Jongin! Your chicken puppies just bit my pencil to the core and ran off with it!" Jongin gasped as Yixing insulted his kids. They are most definitely not chickens!

"Leave them alone they don't know any better!" Yixing sighed and stood up to grab another pencil.

"Alright, is everyone done besides Yixing?" The 11 other boys nodded as Yixing stuck his tongue out and focused hard on writing.

"Alright, ladies." Kris rubbed his hands together for the big show. "We'll start with Sehun. Go! What is your resolution for 2015? It could be more than one." Sehun nodded and swallowed hard. This was the moment, it was his time to shine.

"My resolutions are to stop shitting my pants... And to stop saying yehet." The room was silent, even the metaphoric crickets were quiet. Soon enough, the room burst into laughter and loud claps.

"Fucking fiNALLY OH SHITHUN I'M TIRED OF SEEING SKID MARKS ON YOUR TIDY WHITIES!" Kyungsoo cheered the loudest, since he was the one always dealing with Sehun shit.. Literally..

"Alright then, god bless America for that. Let's hope it happens. What about you? Jongdae." Kris directed his attention towards Jongdae.

"To be more hot. The ladies like them hot."

"Boo." A single voice was heard from within the crowd of 12 boys. Jongdae stated that they were just jealous of his handsome devil looks.

"Moving on.. Luhan?"

Luhan licked his lips and stood up. He straightened his paper and smiled confidently.

"My resolution is to bench press 90 kg!" Kris snorted and moved onto the next person, making Luhan sit down sadly.

"It's okay, buddy. You don't have to lie to yourself." Sehun patted Luhan's shoulder for reassurance.

"I'm not lyin-"

"Kyungsoo? Anything you wanna do?" All eyes zoomed to Kyungsoo. He shrugged.

"I don't know. Take over the world. Paint a house. Eat a whole raw zucchini." Kris coughed and imagine Kyungsoo eating a raw zucchini.

"Ahem, yes okay, wonderful. Fantastic. Minseok?" Minseok snored away, but left his list in plain sight. Baekhyun grabbed it and read it out loud for everyone.

"Go skydiving and stop giving Sehun brownies made out of chocolate laxatives." Sehun frowned and pinched the bridge of his nose.

"That explains so much.." Sehun now found out the real truth, the magic and the mystery of The Shit.

"I... Have no comment. Chanyeol?"

"Ask Dara out." He said quietly. The hyungs all wolf whistled and patted Chanyeol's back. Kris threw an ornament at Chanyeol for causing such a ruckus.

"Junmyeon?"

"I want to-"

"No one cares. Baekhyun?" Junmyeon let a few tears slip thanks to Kris's hurtful comment. No one cares, just like no one cares about the environment..

"Learn how to fucking drive. I'm tired of making everyone drive for me. I'm grown man! Not much of one, but a man!" Baekhyun grabbed a green ornament off the green Christmas tree and smashed it with his hand.

"OWIE!" He sucked on his finger that was cut by the ornament that broke in his hand. Kris sighed and stood up to get the Sesame Street bandaids from the first aid kit. He threw the box at Baekhyun, knocking him out.

"He'll wake up eventually. Anything for you, Tao? Please tell me you have something more interesting than these fruitcakes." Sehun cringed at the thought of fruitcake... He got.... War flashbacks to the day his girlfriend's mother called him a fruitcake.

"Can we not talk about fruitcakes, please."

"Don't interrupt me while i'm talking, fruitcake. Tao, proceed." Tao thanked Kris and went on.

"Thank you. My 2015 goal is to be happy and work hard to catch up to all of you!" They all clapped slowly and and cheered for what could probably be the greatest resolution of the night.

"Ok, ok, good effort. Yixing Are you done?" Yixing scribbled a few more words down and nodded.

"My resolution is to pay back Kris-hyung for everything he has done for is. Thank you, Kris." Kris smiled in satisfaction and gave the boy props. Conceited ass. Sehun thought.

"Alright. Now mine. My resolution is to take care of everyone and visit my great grandfather's, Van Goh's, art museum. I have to know my roots." Kris applauded for himself.

"Ok, last and certainly least, Jongin." Jongin stood up and cleared his through. He pulled out a pair of spectacles to read his list.

"My resolution is to eat 19 beef franks in under 6 minutes." The room fell silent.

"I'm not going to ask why. Alright! Since we've all said our resolutions, take a string and balloon and tie your papers with the resolutions on to a balloon them release into the sky." They boys did so and stepped outside.

"Wait! What about my resolution? You didn't hear mine!" Junmyeon sat on the floor and pouted.

"Hyung, there are people dying and all you care about is yourself?! Selfish...." Kris said as he looked at himself in the mirror. The nerve of this man!

"But-"

"Let's go!" Sehun opened the slide door and led the boys onto the patio. Junmyeon sighed and followed them anyways.

"On one, we let go of the balloon, okay?"

"Got it!" They said simultaneously.

"Three!" Chanyeol.

"Two!" Luhan.

"Four!" Sehun exclaimed. Jongin leaned over to whisper something to Sehun.

"I lied. I meant one... ONE!" Everyone let their balloons go on Sehun's cue.

Here was to a shit-free new year filled with joy, laughter, and clean underwear.

Happy 2015!