Never Too Soon

Can I?

POV: Harper

"So are you doing anything this weekend, Harper?" Lauren asked me as we sat in her car drinking coffee, waiting for the clock to hit a quarter till eight.

"Other than having to deal with my over-invasive grandparents, no." I took a sip of my coffee and embraced the warmth it emitted.

"I have the weekend off and I have already finished editing everything for both of the new magazines, so I was wondering if you wanted to go downtown and do something or not. You are the only friend I have and I'd rather not go alone, but if you can't go I can go by myself." She looked straight ahead and brought her cup of coffee to her lips.

"Why would you want to take a seventeen-year-old anywhere? I can't go places that you can go." I furrowed my eyebrows and looked over at her.

"I don't want to go to a bar or club or anything like that. I just wanna know more about downtown since that's where my company's beacon in this area is. I'll feed you if you go with me."

"I'd have to ask my dad." I gave in some. Part of me was like 'fuck yes let's go' and the other part was like 'I'm seventeen and need to be reasonable and not fall for my neighbor by being around her more often.'

"Text me when you find out what he says. I'm bored with being alone in that house all day." Lauren sighed loudly.

"Okay." I giggled.

I took a sip of the coffee I once thought tasted awful, but now it's just normal.

"Why do you drink your coffee black? It's more of a how." Lauren furrowed her eyebrows at me.

"I got used to it. It doesn't have as many calories. I used to think it tasted like gasoline." I shrugged.

"Why are you worried about calories and how do you know what gasoline tastes like?" She asked carefully.

"Oh shit, I gotta go." I looked at the time and quickly left the car to avoid answering the question. Not even my dad knows that my mom made me drink gasoline when I'd misbehave. That used to be the two strike punishment, but she stopped that all together when I somehow got to strike three more and more.

My phone vibrating made my eyes shut tightly. I know it's Lauren asking me why I left so quickly.

Lauren: I'm sorry I asked. You don't need to run from conversations with me. If you tell me you don't want to talk about something I'll move on and go to a different topic. I care about you Harper.

I decided to not respond and hope to avoid her picking me up after school today.

I managed to slip by the assholes and avoid the names and comments as I walked into the school. It felt like everyone's eyes were on me, but I knew it was because I was about to have a panic attack. I have to find somewhere safe, and quickly.

The only thing her asking that question did was bring back unwanted memories of the terrified seven-year-old me that just wanted her mom to love her.

My breathing started to pick up as tears began to fall, and soon enough I couldn't walk any further. My knees gave out and I fell to the floor as one of the flashbacks flooded into my mind.

"Drink it you piece of shit!" My mom yelled at me and held the glass of thick yellow fluid closer to my face.

"Please mommy! It makes me sick!" I tried to push it away from me, but she didn't stop.

"Don't make me get the knife out. You know I don't like having to use it on you this young, but I will if I have to." She threatened me and I weighed my options. The knife hurt and made me bleed, but the liquid made me really sick.