ACT ONE
EXT. FINAL DESTINATION - NIGHT
In the deepest corner of space floats MASTERHAND: a 20-foot long, sentient white glove. He is the master of the universe.
He's a right hand. On his backside is a thin black streak and some hard-to-notice golden strings fading into the distance.
He floats above a solid, unmoving metal platform (big enough to host a fight!) and in front of dozens of portals.
These portals look into some of the many worlds of Nintendo like: Pokemon, Fire Emblem, Kid Icarus, The Legend of Zelda, Metroid, Kirby, Starfox, and Donkey Kong Country.
Farther behind are even more worlds like: Sonic the Hedgehog, F-Zero, Earthbound, Animal Crossing, Megaman, Bayonetta, Metal Gear, Xenoblade Chronicles, and Pacman.
The portal to the Mushroom Kingdom is front and centre. It grows closer until it's entered. There's a flash of red...
MASTERHAND
So begins the plan, master. May they learn what they do not understand, fight what they fear, and grow into ideal models for what is to come.
EXT. PATH TO BOWSER'S - AFTERNOON
MARIO toasts a goomba with a fireball and runs past it.
He heads to the "dark and scary" Bowser's Castle far off. It stands out in the bright and cartoonish Mushroom Kingdom.
He rolls his eyes as he fights these creatures and oncoming koopas. He has no precision to his moves, despite how hard and powerful they are. He's a REAL person fighting.
He lands punches, kicks, and fireballs, yet the enemies keep coming. His lacklustre form allows them to approach.
He tries to jump out of trouble, but gets pulled down. He's slowly surrounded. He looks out of luck.
MARIO
(Italian accent)
Oh fine, you can keep Luigi! Just leave me alone!
Oncoming enemies are blown back by a powerful gust.
A metal flower petal soars like a boomerang and takes out the ones closest to Mario. He rolls his eyes again as he turns to it.
PEACH approaches beside DAISY riding a joyful YOSHI.
Peach "pumps" her umbrella like a shotgun reload. This shoots a precise blast of wind at the baddies to give them space.
Daisy catches the earring and clips it back on. She hops off.
DAISY
"They can KEEP Luigi"!?
Daisy slap attacks Mario. Yoshi laughs at their dumb little scrap and bickering. Peach has to break it up.
DAISY
And stop leaving super early for these rescue missions without us!
PEACH
Daisy, Mario: come on. Get along.
MARIO
You know you didn't have to come, right? I've done this a million times by myself.
DAISY
Because your fat, sorry butt was doing so well before we showed up. Forgive me if I actually want the better brother to get rescued.
MARIO
Ha! You think Luigi's the better brother? You know he thinks that mansion of his is haunted, right?
PEACH
Can you two maybe just cool your flames so we can move on?
MARIO
Or: I move on with the mission at hand by myself and keep my flame sizzling hot. Later haters.
Mario lights a fireball and stomps along. They follow. They easily fend off a few stray, attacking koopas.
DAISY
Oh no you don't. If anyone's saving my smart, charming, hot boyfriend from that creepy, stupid, ugly Bowser, it's me.
MARIO
Then count me out.
PEACH
We'll have a better shot at saving Luigi together.
MARIO
Peach, I love you, but that's the silliest thing anyone's said in the history of the Mushroom Kingdom.
DAISY
Clearly you've never heard literally anything Toad's said.
MARIO
Let me tell you how it goes: Bowser kidnaps someone, usually you, I go there BY MYSELF, beat him up, save the day, comb my moustache, and do it all again tomorrow.
PEACH
Mario: I love YOU and that beautiful moustache of yours, more than this whole silly kingdom...
DAISY
You love his moustache more than the...aren't you still the ruler of this place?
PEACH
But maybe you're wrong here. Maybe it's time to mix it up with a little teamwork.
MARIO
Well I don't really have an option at this point.
They've reached the entrance to the castle and enter.
YOSHI
Yoshi!
MARIO
You're the only one who's not ticking me off, Yoshi.
INT. BOWSER'S CHAMBER - AFTERNOON
In the large room is a door, a pathway to a cement island, and a pool of lava below that flows off into a long river.
On the island is a quivering LUIGI tied up to chair. He yelps as the door opens. BOWSER enters.
The big koopa closes the door and slowly lumbers down the pathway. Luigi shakes as he approaches. He stops in front.
BOWSER
Are you cold, Luigi? I can turn the heat up if you want.
LUIGI
(Italian accent)
We're in a lava room.
BOWSER
This whole place has central heating. I just want to make sure you're comfortable.
LUIGI
I guess I'm fine for my first time being kidnapped. Are you usually like this with Peach?
BOWSER
I'm sure the monarchist or her red fire-wielding partner don't report on my hospitality.
LUIGI
What's a monarchist?
BOWSER
Do you even know why I kidnapped Peach all those times, Luigi? Do you know why I left a note asking for just her to come here?
LUIGI
Because you're creepy?
BOWSER
So I can engage in negotiations with the so-called ruler about koopa inequality and steps to-
Bowser and Luigi hear ruckus from outside.
YOU ARE READING
Super Smash Bros: The TV Series (Season 1)
FanfictionThe fiery Mario and his crew are forced to deal with others from the Nintendo universe that have been dumped in their home: The Mushroom Kingdom. What is Mario saying to Link when they're beating the crap out of each other in the Super Smash Bros ga...
