My Greek Lovers

Chapter 23

Kristy's POV

Nothing felt as terrifying as knocking on the hotel room door, knowing Eros was behind it. I had to face him and tell him everything, as if he didn't already know. And when he opened the door, I didn't recognize the man that stood before me.

I didn't think my heart could sink any further, but it did when I saw him standing there. I mean, he looked the same, still the gorgeous sun kissed skin and dark brown hair. He dressed differently in a black collared shirt and dark washed jeans. He fit the part of being in the crowded San Franscico city rather than the relaxed island atmohpshere he's accustomed to.
But it was his face that broke me.
His face that I didn't recognize. He wasn't the confident man I knew. Not the man who had the power to believe that faith will make everything ok. He was defeated and looked like he'd given up believing that anything we had was special.

"Hi. C-can I come in?" I muttered like a scared dog with my tail tucked between my legs. He didn't say anything as he opened the door enough for me to walk through. I walked in and sat on the edge of the bed but he stayed standing by the window keeping his distance from me.
"So, that's the Nicholas that you talked about, huh?"
"You never told me you had a brother" I felt defensive all of a sudden.
"Half! Brother!" He grunted under his breath looking out the window. With him correcting me and by his firm tone, I figured I should at least confirm my thoughts about this situation.
"Aaand I take it you two don't like each other?"
"He never liked me or my father. I'm sure his mother fed him negative thoughts about us"

I remembered Eros telling me the love story between his father and mother. It seemed so perfect at the time, but now it felt jaded.
It was a love triangle filled with tough choices and heartbreak. Something that was all too familiar to me now. I was in a love triangle of my own, between two brothers no less! Two brothers who hated each other! And I had to make my tough choice.

"SEE!" I stood up and started pacing the room as the stress and anxiety started to build in my throat.
"This is why I ran when I found out! I knew there was bad blood between you two!" I shouted and he turned from the window to look at me like a light bulb had clicked in his head.
"You-you ran?"
"I'm sorry! I didn't want you to find out this way! I didn't want you to find out at all!" I kept rambling. "I-I didn't know how to even begin to tell you"
"When did you find out?" he asked and I started to panic at how he'd react. But I looked over and for some reason it looked like every word I said, his face got lighter and lighter.
"I found out at your fathers house. I-I saw a picture of him that I reco-" he didn't even let me finish explaining when he rushed over and cut me off, cupping my cheeks in his hands.
His eyes were lit up and his face somehow beamed like he was happy but I couldn't understand why. What could possibly make him happy about what I'm saying?
"You ran!" he repeated what I said earlier and he smiled and caressed my face. The feeling of him touching me again sent a wave of stress relief through my body. I felt like I was weightless for a moment. Floating in the clouds as I closed my eyes briefly before he started speaking again.
"You didn't mean what you said about us meaning nothing, did you?" He asked hopeful and I couldn't help but smile back at him. He was happy that there was still hope, now knowing I didn't mean what I said about us only being a fling. Hope that there was still the future possibility of us.
"Of course it meant something Eros" But I couldn't look at him when I thought about everything. I still felt ashamed with myself.
"I-I just...felt-" I had to correct myself.
"I feel...digusted with myself. And I thought you would too" Tears started swelling in my throat and my eyes and I gasped for breaths in a panic trying to hold back the rush of ugly tears.
"Hey, hey" he pulls me close in a hug trying to calm me down. "It's ok, Kristy. Fate can be difficult like this at times. It all happens for a reason and we can't always understand why" He pushed his body back to look at me, tilting my chin up to look at him.
"But I don't look at you any differently. We all have a past"
"I'm sorry I didn't tell you" I cried.
"I can understand why"
"Emms told me you tried to catch me at the ferry"
"Did she also tell you that was my sister you met, not some other woman?"
"Yes...I'm sorry about that too" I tried to lower my head embarrassed. "I-I just didn't know what to think" I admitted.
"Prépei na xérete apó tóra pós niótho gia séna" He gazed into my eyes as if wanting to say more.

But I stopped him.

I don't know why I didn't want to hear it at that moment. Maybe because I knew if I heard, it would make this decision even harder.
"Eros, why did you come here?" I asked as tears fell from my eyes already assuming what his answer was. His face turned blank and he didn't say anything. He didn't say it. Maybe he knew I couldn't handle it, or that I didn't want to hear it. Maybe he thought I didn't feel the same way.
He lets go of my face and takes a step back as sadness and doubt resonated on his face again.
"Do you still want to be with him?" He bluntly asked me.
"I-I don't know" I mutter looking down at the floor. I'm confused and lost. I don't know what I want or who I want or who I even am anymore. Eros looks defeated again as he turned to look out the window.
"I mean, things were over between us before I went to Greece. A-and then I met you" I had to reassure of him that.
"B-but now Nicholas is back and wants me to go to Boston" I admit.
"And...do you?"
"I-I don't know what I want right now" I confess sadly knowing it's not the anwer he wants to hear, even though it's the truth. "This is all too much"
"You have to make that choice yourself, Kristy." Eros moves closer to me and reaches for my face again.
"I won't stand in your way or try to convince you. I just want you to be happy " He traces his thumb along my lips as if wanting to kiss me once more but I know he won't.
So he savors this moment, memorizing my lips and my face.
"Proséfchomai monopáti sas odigeí se ména."
I can see in his eyes he's studying me. As if he's saying goodbye.
"S 'agapó Kristy" Even if it is the last thing he wants to do. And I feel the same way as I drag my body from his embrace and walk out the door.

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Prépei na xérete apó tóra pós niótho gia séna
translates to: You must know by now how I feel about you
"Proséfchomai monopáti sas odigeí se ména.
S 'agapó Kristy translates to: I pray your path leads to me. I love you Kristy

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