The Runner

Chapter 1: Grit and Grime

The crisp autumn air creeped through the window and I awoke. I stood out of bed and cracked every bone in my fucking body. Stumbling to the bathroom I emptied out about a fifth of whiskey into the toilet. I put on my jeans and my flannel and lit my first Marlboro of the day. I fucking love the first smoke of the day. I walked into my kitchen and fed Brooks, my old bloodhound, and grabbed my famous coffee with Jameson. Life is quaint right now I don't really have anybody in my life and no body really knows me, but I like it that way. I stepped outside grabbed my axe and hopped in Betty. Betty is my old Ford, she's ugly but she gets the job done. I found her in the woods out in the field behind my house and finally got her running. I headed up the road to the lumber yard to get ready for the days work. I cut about 45 racks of wood a day. Luckily, I don't have to buy any for home since I have access. Most people don't think anything of it, but I love this shit job, nobody is talking to me I can turn on my music and just start chopping away.

The day is over, I hop back into Betty and head to my daily pickup. Mrs. Norris who runs this small liquor store near my house is probably my closest relationship at this point and isn't that just a little fucked up, but she's sweet and gives me the frequent flier discount which probably only fuels my problem but its worth it. I hopped back in and start driving I finally pass through the door sit down at my table and pour the first two fingers of the night. Life is lonely but I chose it that way. Everyone I seem to love goes away so why would I want to put myself through that again. Life will be better if I'm the only one here drinking, other that Brooks.

Saturday is here and after my morning routine I pour my coffee in a mug and Brooks and I head into town to get a months-worth of supplies for the Cabin. The less time I'm in this annoyingly innocent town the better. Whispers are all I hear as I head into the grocery store. Ima sight to see in this fucking place. I get all my shit and head to the cashier, she tries to make excuses and apologize for the others in the store, but I don't say anything, I'm just trying to leave. Its not her fault I'm just trying to get out. She's a sweet woman, from what I gather her, and her dad own this store and is about to graduate college with a medical degree from the local college. Doesn't make fucking sense to me that in a town with a little over 2000 people they would offer that shit but whatever. I give her the cash, covered in saw dust and she asked me, "what is this?" with a look of disgust, I hate this fucking town. Too many stuck up nuts always trying to get in my business. Whenever I'm here I always try and hurry, so I don't get stuck talking to these people. Heading down the sidewalk I pass by the laundromat, out of the corner of my eye I see a reflection. That suit tailored just to fit, long brown hair slicked back, and those dumbass orange tinted aviators. My heart just dropped 6 feet in the ground as I turn and drop my bags preparing to bolt to god knows where. As I turn an 18-wheeler slowly reveals no one there. Was it my mind fucking with me or was it him? I am constantly afflicted with feelings of being trapped. It's been 7 years since I was a dumb and reckless 20-year-old. The mistakes of my past still haunt me, I've never been one for love, its never happened. Honestly, I wouldn't even know what that is like. For the past 27 years everyone I know either dies or goes away, I've never been loved, which probably explains this numbness that has me consumed.

I gather my shit and continue walking towards Betty, lighting the first of my second pack today, I hop in and pop in the tape. After I put it in reverse I look up and am greeted with a goddess. This 5'4" woman with long brown curls and blue eyes shining towards me. I'm presented with a grin that could stop a Mack truck. I'm thrown off but I nod my head and continue back towards home. I park and hop out of Betty and stumble towards the door, my body here but my mind is still staring into those ocean eyes. I drop the keys, "Shit!" I pick them up and head inside, Brooks not too far behind, pour myself a drink and sit down on the couch. The news is blaring through the speakers of the television, they talk about crime near the town, politics, and the state of the world, but I'm not paying any attention. Was she smiling at me or did she not even see me? It would be better if she didn't even know me, I need to snap out of it. The farther away from her the better, I've always thought of myself as a loner and it is safer for anyone if it stays that way. Luckily my favorite thing to do will help me forget fucking everything. I grab the fifth of Walker's I picked up from Mrs. Norris and start the nightly ritual of blacking out in my bed. I sit down, light a smoke and pour the start of my night.