Canvas - Z.M

Chapter 28

"The saddest kind of sad is when your own tears can't even fall for you. Numb and unable to go on as your mind // instead // falls down the rabbit hole." - Me.

//

"Strange to see you calling. How are you?"

I hesitate. "I'm good. I just wanted someone to talk too." I murmur.

"Oh." Liam sounds surprised. "So you called me. There's a compliment there somewhere right? What's up, I haven't seen you since your little drink up with sophia and Eleanor." He chuckles.

I groan. "Don't remind me. I can't remember much."

"Well there's nothing to remember. You didn't do anything crazy if that's what you wanted to know." Liam says. "How are you an Zayn going?"

I frown. Why is he asking me about him?

"We're fine."

"Right." His tone is dry but when he speaks again, it's serious. "Where is he?"

"Out. I don't know?" My frown deepens. "Why?"

"Just asking. I'm with Eleanor and Louis. She wants to talk to you."

"Oka-"

"Lorena?"

"Hey El." I half smile.

"You wanna tell me why Zayn is with Candice and some other dude?"

My heart drops to my stomach immediately as my mouth dries.

"What?!"

"Come to The Grill." She hangs up immediately but I'm still caught up in my head.

My eyes are filling up with tears. I can't deal with this sort of pain again.

If it's not physical, it's mental. Either way it's not right.

I clutch my beating heart and take a deep breath.

Please.

I change quickly into something more outgoing and grab the keys to the car.

I can't think straight. My head is jumbled up and I refuse to cry. I won't let him do that to me anymore.

But when I arrive at the restaurant parking, I don't move. I can't and even though I'm trying to build courage and confidence inside of me to walk through that door, I fucking can't.

"Lorena!"

I jump from a fright as tears start to shiver along my lash line.

Eleanor opens my car door and I sigh as she pulls me out. "Finally you're here!"

I swallow the bike down and close the car door as she looks at me.

"Are you okay? Look nothing is happening. I don't think he knows we're here but it's weird seeing him with Candice."

I nod, unable to form a decent sentence or word.

"Come-" Eleanor leads me out of the parking and into the entrance and I stop immediately.

"No. I can't-"

Eleanor frowns. "It's okay."

"Eleanor I don't want to see him cheating on me."

Eleanor frowns. "We'll see for ourselves."

"No-" Our attention is focused at the entrance of the restaurant where the doors open and both Candice and Zayn walk through the door hand and hand.