salvia. [h.s. AU]

Chapter Nineteen

Maria Eduarda

The first thing I notice as I step out of the cab, right in front of Harry's house, are the multiple cars parked all around the front door.

Then, there's the music and loud conversation coming from his backyard. Niall's characteristic laughter blaring louder than anything else, which immediately makes me smile through the tears running down my cheeks.

Shit, I wasn't expecting to have company.

I mean, I don't really know what I was expecting, to be honest. I shouldn't even be here, I should've gone home, but for some reason, I chose to come here. Even though I cried all the way, it didn't pass through my mind that maybe it's not the moment to come running to Harry's arms.

In fact, I'm not even sure his arms are vacant.

What if I decide to enter, uninvited, just to watch Harry and Chloe together, talking with their friends and acting like the normal, loving couple Landon and I never was? How will I react? I mean, I have no business reacting in any way other than indifference, Harry is only my boss, right?

As if. I'm done trying to lie to myself, of course whatever relationship I have with Harry, it's definitely not a professional one. I'm not just his cook, he is not just my boss - in fact, I don't think it has ever been like that, even though it kinda should have. But ever since day one, Harry and I have shared some kind of connection I can't explain, but seems to be greater and stronger than us.

Just as I'm starting to rethink coming here, Jerome notices my figure standing across the street, probably staring at the house like some kind of maniac, wearing what's definitely not my work clothes and with puffy, crying eyes.

"Maria?" He calls me, crossing the street to get to me. "What happened? Are you OK?" He frowns as soon as he sees my face. I must be looking awful.

"Yeah, I just... I just..." My voice trails off as I have no idea what to say. "I, hm... I forgot something here earlier and I just..."

Jerome smiles with a knowing smile, fully aware I'm trying to bullshit him, but he is kind enough not to call me out. Instead, he offers me his arm, walking back to Harry's house and pulling me with him. "Mr. Styles is receiving some friends at the pool, if you want to say hi." He winks as he unlocks the front door for me, silently inviting me in.

"OK... Thank you, Jerome." I give him a tight-lipped smile, and he just nods, waiting for me to enter the house and closing the door behind me.

It's awkward to be here during the night. Although I have been here before, to cook for Harry's birthday, I was working, so it was OK. But standing in the middle of the meticulously cleaned foyer, wearing my best clothes and heels, hair down and even with a bit of makeup on my face... It just feels off. Like I wasn't supposed to be here, like I don't belong here.

Maybe I should just go up to the studio, grab the tote bag I actually forgot here earlier, and call another cab to go back home. I don't even know if I have enough money to pay for a ride back, but maybe I can borrow something from Jerome, I guess. If he doesn't have it, I'll walk to Club Liquid and wait for Dani to leave.

Yeah, sounds like a plan. Maybe not a good one, but a plan nevertheless.

Keeping the lights off and walking as slowly and silent as I can manage, I start walking through the house, crossing the living room, the dining room and getting into the kitchen, which is bright with the lights turned on even though there's no one here. There are a few empty beer bottles over the center island, as well as two wine bottles and some random snacks here and there - he's obviously having some kind of party. Not like the one I've catered, but something probably more like that friends reunion I saw on my first week working here. Either way, I wasn't invited and it was silly of me to think I would come all the way here to find Harry alone on a Saturday night.