Married To My Stepdad

Chapter 4 - Guilt

DISCLAIMER: This chapter contains scenes with mild adult language and content. It is not suitable for readers under the age of 18. Reader discretion is advised.

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One moment, I was staring at his eyes then the next, we were making out. 

When my lips found his lips, it felt like I was coming home. The kiss was soft at first. Just like our first kiss. Then I felt his hands gently caress my back and holding me tighter as if he's afraid that I might disappear. Our kiss grew deeper, like we can't get enough of each other. I ran my hands across his chest, then my fingers reached to grip his soft, wavy hair.

His tongue gently slipped inside my mouth, like he's careful that he might break me, but in a manner that makes me feel like he's craving for me. His strong arms pulled me closer to him, making me feel how badly he wants me as I felt his desire press against me. The stubbles on his jawline tickles my skin but I don't care, nothing else matters but him. His scent is intoxicating, combined with the feeling of his mouth conquering mine. His hands are everywhere, and we're so close with each other to the point that it feels like we are one. 

Our foreheads touched as we both gasped for air. We stayed in that position for a few minutes as we both took our time to catch our breath, which gave me enough time to sink in what just happened.

I stepped away from him when I realized what I did. What we just did. Naglakad ako palayo, kahit na hindi ko talaga alam kung saan ako pupunta. My mind is a mess because of the alcohol, at nadagdagan pa 'to ng pangyayari kanina.

"Gwen..." desperadong tawag niya sa'kin.

I protectively embraced myself when I felt the chills run down to my spine as I heard him call my name. No, hindi pwede. Hindi ka pwedeng bumalik at yakapin siya, Gwen. Kasi if I turn back, I don't know if I can ever let him go.

And I can't keep coming back to him.

He's not mine anymore.

Not ever since he left me.

"Kalimutan na lang natin 'yung nangyari, please" mahinang sambit ko. I feel ashamed of myself.

I kissed my mother's fiancé. Na ex-boyfriend ko. Na hindi niya alam. Everything is so messed up, and I messed it up even more. 

Suddenly, everything felt too much. I felt suffocated, trapped. 

So, I ran. I ran like I always did when things get too much. I ran as if my life depended on it. 

Hindi ko na alam kung saan ako pupunta pero bahala na. All I know is that I want to escape. I want to go somewhere really far. Somewhere not here.

"GWEN!" tawag ni Lean sakin habang patuloy akong tumatakbo.

I can't feel anything but guilt. Shame. Embarrasment? Yes. I'm embarassed of myself kasi I knew better. I should know better. Nauna na naman ang puso ko bago ko ginamit ang utak ko. Stupid, Gwen.