On the Edge of Tomorrow

Chapter 26

We weren't okay, and we both knew it. My anxiety around Billy's stage presence hardly subsided. He was as much an actor as a musician. He returned to my quiet Billy when he stepped off the stage. As the tour's momentum grew, so did the fans. Until the Suzy video, I had never fully contemplated the temptations Billy would face, but every show after shoved them in front of me. Still, the concerns of faithfulness were dwarfed as I stared at their faces, questioning how I was any different. They loved him; I loved him. I was getting lost in the sea of adoration Billy created around him. I felt myself slipping away.

So we settled into a measured cadence. I'd rarely stay up for the shows, which usually lasted close to midnight. This meant I'd continue to get up hours before Billy. I used the time to twist pendants and prepare for my fall classes. I liked the quiet.

Billy and Tim still went on their malt quests. I'd often hang back, opting to continue to read or go on my own adventures. I didn't want to impose on their time. Although I'd occasionally adjust my plans if one or both of them asked to come with me. I had a keen interest in the unusual, which both Billy and Tim shared.

As quickly as I joined them, the summer ended.

"You sure you don't want to come home with me for a couple of days? My mom is dying to meet you," Billy prodded as his fingers twirled my hair while I sprawled across his chest.

"I really should get back," I sighed. "I have to get the apartment back in order for the school year," I reminded him.

"I know."

"You have a couple of weeks off right; before Europe?"

"Yeah, we head out the second week of September. I'm back at Thanksgiving."

"Maybe before you head out, you could come to Maine?" My words tentatively creaked.

"Yeah?" Billy's hand slipped to my lower back as he dipped his head to meet my gaze.

"Yeah, you could meet my dad," I offered. "Console me after my first week of classes."

"I'd love nothing more. I could come next weekend," he offered.

"Do you want to check with your mom? She may have something planned?"

"No, it's perfect. I'll go home for a few days, catch up with the family. Head to Maine for the weekend, then still have a couple more days with my mom before I head out again." Billy's words came packed with excitement.

"That sounds a bit exhausting," I teased.

"Are you kidding? Compared to the pace we've been traveling? I'm afraid I'll get bored," he laughed.

"Oh, my company is boring now?" I pushed myself up on his chest to give him a scolding look.

"Lily Turncott, I'll never accuse you of being boring."

I smiled and let my head fall to back his chest again.

"Thank you," he whispered, as his fingers returned to playing with my hair.

I didn't respond. I just gave his chest a gentle kiss.

The next morning we parted. We had both known it was coming, but it still felt jarring.

"I'll see you in less than a week." I couldn't tell if he was reminding me or himself.

"Yeah, just a couple days." I smiled up at him as he brushed a tendril of hair behind my ear.

His hand cupped my neck as he leaned in for a long kiss.

"Go," he whispered as he pulled away. "Otherwise, I may pack you in my luggage and smuggle you to Duluth."

"That doesn't sound comfortable," I sighed as I let my face drop to his chest and sucked in one last breath of his musk. With the nourishment he provided, I pushed off him.

"Call me when you land," Billy called after me.

"I love you!" I called back as I began to mix with the other travelers in the security line.

I settled in my seat and gazed out the window at the airport as sadness mixed with relief. I chose not to dwell on either emotion and instead plunged my earbuds into my ears and let Led Zeppelin shatter my thoughts.