What We Lost

Beauty and the Beast

After our joyous family reunion, everyone heads to their own little area. Abe and Dariela get their stuff settled into their old room, Jackson heads to the room he had taken, letting me have the room we shared, and Clem heads to the cargo bay. After a little while I head out to see her, "hey, need any help?"

"Yeah," Clem calls out from under the truck, "can you toss me that 'lectro wrench?"

I look over the pile of tools and find what I think she is asking for and hand it to her, "didn't realize you were into cars."

"Guilty as charged. Total gearhead. Angry, sad, lonely. Whatever I was feeling growing up, cars were always there."

I hear the whirling of the tool as Clem works away, "always the same."

"I guess, I guess they helped me make sense of things. And given the current state of the world, I could use a little bit of that right now."

"Couldn't we all?" I chuckle.

"Socket driver?"

I look down to the tools and pick one up, "this one?"

"Yeah. Thanks."

"So what's it like being back with your dead dad?"

"Weird. What's it like working with your ex husband?"

I sigh, "weird. It's been a tough couple years since we all saw each other. I know you haven't had an easy go, either."

"That's true, but... but everybody's different. You never know how you're gonna react in a tough situation until you're in it, you know?"

"We all have our regrets. Done things we're not proud of. We all have our secrets."

"All my regrets are behind me."

"Well," I adjust myself and lean against Jamie's mustang that's parked beside the truck. "Sometimes our regrets catch up to us."

"You mean Jackson?"

"He's part of it," I shake my head.

"What's the rest?" Clem moves out from under the truck and looks over to me.

"Never moving on, like he did." I shake my head and look down.

"What you haven't been with anyone since your divorce."

"No, of course I have. But I never dated anyone, I never lived with anyone."

Clem nods, "Jackson has a lot of love to give, maybe he couldn't go on without giving it to someone."

"What do you mean?"

"You've heard of Love Languages, right?"

"Of course."

"Well, your Love Language is giving, doing things for others. Jackson's is more physical."

I sigh softly, as I chuckle, "don't I know it."

"Exactly, so while you were able to cope with the loss of your relationship by being there for your family."

"Jackson couldn't," I nod, "so we found someone he could love."

"Right," Clem nods. "So what are you gonna do?"

"About what?" I look up to Clem, a bit confused.

"About Jackson."

"What about Jackson?"

"He kissed you, didn't he? I mean, it's pretty clear he still loves you and you love him."

I shake my head, "Clem, you're young and, I'm guessing, haven't had a lot of really serious relationships. But sometimes love just isn't enough." I shake my head, "it isn't always enough to overcome pain or lose. Sometimes it's a reminder of it."

"But it can always help you heal." Clem reaches forward and places her hand on mine. "You know, growing up kids always idolize storybook romances? Cinderella, Beauty and the Beast. I didn't." Clem shakes her head, "when I thought about love, true love, I thought about you and Jackson. I always told myself, 'I'm gonna find someone who looks at me like Uncle Jackson looks at Aunt Kat.' I thought we'd fight like you two did, for and with each other. Love like you two loved each other and our family."

I shake my head and look down, "I'm sorry to disappoint." I chuckle, holding back tears, "but we kind of were Beauty and the Beast." Clem and I laugh.