P knew his dad was fucked up so he tried his best to stay out of his way. He knew he couldn’t win since he was about five times smaller at least, and P didn’t like to get beat, especially for no reason. School started and P went to kindergarten where he learned to read and he was the best in the class since he learned everything very fast while other kids took much longer. P didn’t care much for school but he liked recess when they went outside.
One day P was in the apartment, he was almost five years old and his little sister was two. She must have been the only girl in their small city with red hair and she wanted to go outside and play. She came in and asked their older siblings to take her outside but they said no so she told them she’s going by herself. P’s older brother Dre was seven and his older sister was six. P, thinking about the way the kids outside behaved, told them, “One of you go outside with her because the kids will pick on her.”
“You worry too much,” they told him, while his little sister walked out the door.
P told them he’s not worried but he knows how the kids are and that if she’s by herself they will pick on her because she is too small to defend herself and he told them to go after her. His older siblings ignored him and P waited to hear noise outside when his little sister stepped out of the building.
Two minutes or so later he heard kids laughing and he knew it started, he told his older siblings they are fucking idiots and he ran to the kitchen, grabbed a knife and ran down the stairs with the knife in his hands.
He ran out of the building’s front door and as he opened it he saw about twenty kids surrounding his baby sister, poking her and laughing at her so P ran down the building steps towards them. When they saw P coming down at them with his knife to fuck them up, they started running in every direction.
P’s little sister was crying and P chased after the bigger kids while picking up rocks off the floor and whipping them after the kid’s heads. He chased them a few meters while throwing rocks after them and then he saw a nice big piece of a brick. He picked it up and threw it with all his power hoping it hits one of the bullies heads while they turned the corner behind the building, but he saw it going a bit too far to the left side towards a window on the first floor apartment building which belonged to his friend. His heart sank knowing glass is expensive and he’s about to get a big beating to pay for it. The big piece of brick smashed into the window with a crash. The bullies got lucky; half a meter to the right and it would have got one of them in the back of the head.
P knew he fucked up and he wondered how he was going to get out of this mess. A beating from his dad was unavoidable and he knew he was in trouble. He walked back to his building staircase pissed off, thinking none of this would have happened had his older siblings listened to him and went down with his little sister when he told them to. He checked to see if his baby sister was okay. She was wiping off her tears but P saw she was fine and he knew he had a bigger problem now. He walked into his building leaving his sister outside. She’d be fine now that he chased the bullies off. He started walking up the steps to get to the third floor where he lived.
He heard someone coming down the steps and he looked up and saw his mother. In Romania people talk outside from balcony to balcony, his mom probably even heard the window break so she knew what happened already and when she saw him she told him to go up stairs and kneel down in the living room in front of his dad.
P told her if he did that his dad would ask why he is kneeling there and if he told him he’d get a serious beating. His mom told him she’s going to church and that if when she gets back he’s not kneeling in the living room in front of his dad’s desk like she told him to, she’d tell his dad he didn’t listen to her and he’d get an even bigger beating and she left.
P yelled after her that if he does that she’ll find him beaten not kneeling but she didn’t turn back. P stood on the staircase and wondered what to do. He knew he was going to get a beating anyway and if his mom told his dad he didn’t listen to her on top of the broken window he’d get it even worst. He was angry with the situation, angry with his older siblings that they didn’t listen to him and angry with his mother that she told him to go kneel in the living room knowing he’s going to get beat down, and he was angry he threw the rock too far to the left. He knew he was fucked either way and he had nowhere else to go so he decided to go and do what his mom said and receive a smaller beating because it made more sense to get a smaller beating than a bigger one.
He walked up the stairs knowing every step he took he was walking closer and closer to a beating from his dad for defending his baby sister from the bullies.
Even though he did break the window by accident he knew it wasn’t right to get a beating for defending his helpless baby sister and he knew the second his dad asked him why he was kneeling and he told him, he wouldn’t even get a chance to explain. He walked into the house knowing he’s about to get fucked up and kneeled in the living room where his dad’s desk was.
P could feel the seconds ticking down and he knew it wasn’t going to be much longer till his dad asked him why he was kneeling there. About twenty seconds later his dad asked him, “Why are you kneeling on the floor?”
P thought what the best possible answer would be to avoid a beating but he knew lying would only make it worst but he also knew the second he said he broke a window he was going to get it, so he didn’t know what to say. He stayed on his knees thinking of an answer but his dad asked in a sterner voice, “I asked you why you are on your knees, what are you doing there?”
P still couldn’t think of an answer that would make it easier on him stayed quiet thinking, come on man think of something quick, what the fuck can I say, what the fuck can I say? He felt the pressure building and he knew it was about to blow and it wasn’t going to be pretty, but he couldn’t think of anything to say to make the beating that was approaching more pleasant and that’s when his dad snapped at him, “Why the fuck are you kneeling on the floor for!?”
His dad looked like he was ready to kill him, since he couldn’t think of anything and at this point every second without an answer was making it worst for him, he told him, “I broke the window on the first floor and mom told me to – ”
He didn’t even finish his sentence when his dad ran around the desk and grabbed the only empty wooden book shelf in the library and smashed P with it across his head.
P fell back and his dad beat him with the wooden shelf, then he grabbed P and picked him up and smashed him down on the bed a few times knocking the wind out of him. P was angry and pissed off and his anger was way stronger than the physical pain and he wanted to kill his dad but he knew if he tried his dad would overpower him. P took the beating, swearing to himself when he gets bigger he’s going to fuck his dad up for these senseless beatings.
Just then his mom walked in the door and saw P getting thrown in the air against the ceiling and smashed back down on the bed and she tried to stop his dad but he slapped her around as well. She started crying and P was angry with both of them, hating both of them since it was his mom’s idea to kneel down in front of his psycho dad.
He even told her he’s going to get beat down and she walked off and now she felt bad and she got beat down too. He felt a bit bad for her but he thought, you deserve it you dumb bitch because this was your idea and this is what I get for protecting my baby sister who is your baby daughter from twenty bullies. He was angry and pissed off and he wanted to rip his dad to pieces but he knew he couldn’t.
“When I get bigger this motherfucker is going to get it,” he told himself, “I’m going to fuck him up, fuckin punk is gonna fucking die, motherfucker I swear to God!” P was in a rage and he had nobody to call to help him so he stormed outside while his mom was on the floor crying, wishing someone tried to fuck with him so he could rip them to pieces.
YOU ARE READING
EVIDENCE
Saggistica---------“Pride comes before the fall, and then comes wisdom”----------- The son of anti-Communist dissidents in Romania, his first memory as a child was surviving an assassination attempt by Ceausescu's secret police, the Securitate. This grim intr...
