Beyond The Sky (A Luke Hemmings Romantic Novel)

"You and I"

If your head screams out for help,what would you plan on doing? 

My head says:"Who Cares?" 

But,then my heart whispers softly,at the same time,harshly to me

"You do,stupid girl..."

Yours. How much meanings this word would have? Yours. How come,you can't own someone,no one,but you can Love them. Fall for them,so deep,so madly that even If your head would burn and shattered into fallen pieces,still you would watch that person directly into his hypnotizing eyes,that has pulled you so closer and deeply into his arms. Am I addicted or still,I have to walk and walk and realize who I am? In his arms,his arms,I saw my future. Should I be proud or I should just let this walk past me,can I ? It wasn't that easy to hold on,but even to let go. For a second,one point five seconds,I called myself lucky,I had someone to hold on to,to drown not only in my tears,but his World would catch me If I did. He promised. I could feel his touch,even If he is now milles away from my skin,milles away from my lips,milles away from my whole body,I still could feel shivers coming into my spine,then getting my legs paralyzed,my tongue blocked,my lips parted,but still without breath,my hands cold and sweaty,just like his,Luke,come back to me,please. Save me again,take my hand and don't let me fall again,don't let me die before my time won't let me go,save my breath. Make me feel proud again,make me thank you again for all you've done,for all the troubles that I've caused,make me wanting to remind those memories,make me feel stronger than ever for that,make me call you my saviour again,make me feel alive again. Beautiful,stupid mind of mine,how are you feeling now,like a volcano has exploded and made all these thoughts to came out,to take over my all,all I had and all I lost,it's the same thing. He isn't here anymore,and the last words I said,was some kind of stupidity that I shouldn't have said,making his dream come true,would make him to leave me or who knows,forget about me at all,it was like I told him to leave me,broken,without a shoulder to dry my tears on  and I never thanked him enough. Where did all that love went? Where,God,I know you haven't helped me since I born,oh God,at least help me now,help me to understand,realize what am I made of,what are we,what were we. I think I'm falling harder and deeper day by day,why,why can't I erase you from my stupid,lifeless mind,L-u-k-e,all the time in my brain is You. Even if I am dead inside,I still breath,I didn't deserve all that,I didn't deserve Him. Luke is better than me in all the ways,in all the directions,and I'm just ruthless and reckless person,cold and bitter one. That's why God didn't help me,that's why He left me halfway through my way,Luke wasn't made out for me. From all these,all this time,I realized,I understood,of course that Luke was better than me,but we weren't made for each other,that's what I was scared of,all the time that I passed with Him was wrong,but still right also too.So,the lonely little princess didn't find her prince,all her time with Him was just a beautiful,hypnotizing,unforgettable fairytale,that she was living in for too long,but like everything on Earth,everything don't last forever,nothing stays the same. I believe that everyone falls sometimes,but I made the longest and the most hurted falling ever. 

-Let's go home,dad. 

For the first time I spoke,my voice, weak and desperate,wanting and searching and getting all exhausted from searching,until I loose. I loose my own battle. Thinking too much,is my other speciality,other than crying out loud,but no one would listen to me,no one would offer their hand to help me from falling,because of the stupid mistakes and decissions I make,which rip my soul apart. 

-But,I thought you wanted to stay some other days here. Maybe,you will relax,-he spoke softly and sweetly to me,-we can make a long walk,as one of those you like sweetheart,and maybe later on we can go home.