A/N: I have tics (Yes like Tourette's Syndrome but I haven't been to the doctor so I don't want to say that's what it is.
Sometimes I scream
"Pop" "Picture" "bubblegum"
Sometimes I slam my hands on the table
I jerk my head
I snap my fingers like my life will end if I don't
Sometimes a voice in my head tells me that I can't feel okay until I move or make a random sound. (POP!) I can't feel okay unless I feel the dull pain of pulling hair shoot through my scalp.
I was sold a lie as a kid.
The lie that tics are like sneezes. They're uncontrollable muscle spasms or moments where I lose control while the scream takes over your mouth and puts your tongue on pause.
I was sold the lie that tics develop when you're young and will never happen to me.
My hand and neck tingle and I fight the urge to jerk.
I was sold a lie, because you can control a tic if not just a little bit. I was sold a lie that because I can resist a tic for a little bit I must be faking them. I was sold a lie because when I'm focused on a task the tingle in my neck fades until I'm brought back to the irresistible urge to move.
Sometimes I scream because a voice in my head tells me that I can't feel okay if I don't.
Sometimes I scream because when the weight of the world presses down on me and I start to feel like I'm losing control, my brain decides to take away the last bit of control I have.
Sometimes I scream and everyone around me thinks that I do it because I want attention.
I fight the urge to scream because after a while you begin to believe them.
Maybe I don't have tics. Maybe I just want attention.
But yet, I still scream.
YOU ARE READING
Writing Prompts I wrote for school
RandomI started this book back in 2016 when I was in seventh grade (as I'm rewriting this description, it is 2020 and I'm a senior in high school). Now, I'm in creative writing and decided that I want to post those stories here too. I don't want to delete...