Writing Prompts I wrote for school

(11-17-20) I Guess I'm Dramatic (SLAM Poetry)

I am a drama queen 

Because I'll make a joke that no one laughed at and go to the bathroom to cry about it. 

I break down crying watching Criminal Minds because it's sad that people die in the murder show. 

I stop texting people I like because I can't accept the idea that they might not like me back. 

Because I'm "dramatic" and I can't just get over things. 

It's my fault that I'm so emotional. Why can't I just suck it up? 

Everything is okay so why can't I just feel like it's okay? 

It's all in my head and I guess that means it's not real and I just need to figure it out. 

So I have to pretend that everything is okay because I can't just admit that I'm not. 

That's not how it works. 

You have to just deal with your issues. So why are mine so hard to deal with? 

Everyone tells me that I need to be okay. To suck it up. Stop crying. Everyone has it hard sometimes. 

Every day I have to wake up and tell myself to just shut up because it isn't real. 

Depression isn't real, it's just what dramatic people say to get attention, right? 

I'm not one of them. I'm not depressed. I'm fine. 

I have to be because no one will listen if I tell them I'm not. 

I have to be okay because that's what everyone says I should be. 

I have to be okay because I'm ungrateful if I'm not. 

I have to be okay because I have no other choice. 

I'm not okay! 

I'm not okay...because there's some combination of genes I got from my mother that prevent my brain from making happy chemicals. 

Sometimes my brain just doesn't do what it's supposed to do and it's terrible. 

And I know that there are days when I wake up and I feel okay. And I know that those days won't last forever. 

But I also know that those days have happened and they will happen again. 

So I have to accept that some days are bad. 

I have to accept that I'm not dramatic, I'm just sick. 

I have to accept that I'm not okay. 

But how can I just be okay with not being okay when I'm not okay, okay? 

It's hard. 

I can't just accept that I'm not okay. 

I guess it's because I'm dramatic.