I Need You

5

TW's:
-SELF HARM
-Blood mentions
-Panic attack
-Self hate (mentions suicidal thoughts)

I ran towards him, he was laying lifeless on the ground, blood all over the floor and disgustingly deep scars in his arms. Did he cut himself? This badly?

'Bad, wake up. Please, Bad. Don't leave me.'

He didn't move, he lost so much blood.

'Bad, I'm calling an ambulance.'

It seemed like he could hear me and I saw his eyes opening slowly. They were red, like he cried for hours.

'Bad, it's okay, I'm with you.'

He looked at me, but it seemed like he didn't actually see me.

'Bad, I'm here.'

He started breathing faster and before I knew he started hyperventilating. I didn't know what was going on, but I lifted him up and hugged him.

'Skeppy?'

'I'm with you, Bad. I'm here. Keep breathing, can you copy my breathing rhythm?'

I felt Bad relaxing a little and his hands grabbed my shirt tightly. He started breathing a little more normal, his grasp got tighter, as if he needed me so much. I saw his arms full of blood and it was still dripping slowly down.

'What happened, Bad? Talk to me?'

'I p-passed o-out.'

'I'm with you, Bad. I'm with you. Do you want to talk about it?'

He shrugged.

'At least tell me what this is?' I asked pointing to his arms. 'What the hell happened?'

'I uh-.'

'Wait, let me help you get up. You're laying on the ground in blood.'

I lifted Bad up and removed his shirt since it was completely covered in blood. I walked to the kitchen and looked through some drawers.

'Do you have bandages?'

'Left.' His voice was so incredibly weak.

I found the bandages and walked back to him, wrapping it around his arms. I pulled my hoodie off and gave it too him. 'Put this on.'

He was too weak to put it on so I helped him. He directly laid down on the couch and closed his eyes.

'Bad, what happened?'

Instead of answering he fell asleep. I sighed a little, I let him sleep. I quickly stood up and started cleaning all blood from the ground. It took me around 10 minutes and still not everything was gone. It was just a red stain in the floor. I was so extremely worried. I didn't know what to do. He cut himself, that was clear enough. But why? Why did such an amazing person do this to himself?

I sat on the other couch, crying softly. Such a beautiful person, just completely broken. So broken he thought cutting himself to death was the only option. I wiped the tears from my face and walked to the table where I saw Bads glasses. They were completely wet from his tears. He cried so hard, it broke me. I started cleaning his glasses and laid it down again. I grabbed the blade from the table, were I placed it during the cleaning. I let it slide into my pocket. He didn't need those.

I sat down, but decided to go upstairs and look around a little. I wanted all blades gone. I didn't know if he would get mad if he knew I was in his room without permission, but it was a matter of life or death. I walked upstairs and entered his room. I was shocked when I realised what I saw. At least 5 blades were laying on his desk. I could see he hadn't cleaned for several days. I grabbed all blades and slid them in my pockets too. I couldn't resist myself and turn his PC on. Why did he block all contact with me?

His computer turned on after a few minutes, which revealed his YouTube comments automatically. That was probably one of the reasons he was like this. People bullied him for years and he never told me. I would have helped him, no matter what. He only had to call for help, but he didn't. I look around me and saw a small paper laying turned around on his desk. I grabbed and turned it around. I startled.

I'm ugly
I'm fat
I'm annoying
I have to DIE

Why did he write this down? Did he actually want to die? Did he try and kill himself just then? I froze. My best friend tried to kill himself? I couldn't live without him.

'WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?' I then heard someone scream.

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