I Need You

9

TW's:
-Mentions self harm
-Mentions anxiety

Skeppy POV

Apparently I fell asleep too yesterday. We slept to lunch and Bad managed to eat something. His face was a little less pale and he sometimes smiled. It made me happy to see him smiling.

'Skeppy?'

'Yes, Bad?'

'No we met up. Do you want to do something together?'

'I would love too, what do you have in mind?'

'I don't know, we can go to the zoo tomorrow?'

I nodded. 'Sounds good.'

'I buy the tickets.'

'No, I will buy my own, you don't have to pay for me.'

'Okay fine.'

The day went by fast and before we knew it was morning and we were about to leave to the zoo. We figured it wouldn't be too crowded, since it wasn't extremely hot. I drove us there and I couldn't resist myself from looking at Bad sometimes. He was gorgeous in this morning sun. He was always beautiful, but today a little more. He caught me staring and frowned.

'Are you okay?'

I startled from his voice and nodded heavily. 'I'm good, how are you feeling?'

'I'm a little confused about everything that happened. I cut myself, passed out, suddenly you were here and then I was in hospital.'

'It's confusing, but Bad. Can we make today a good day? Will you try not to hurt yourself?'

He nodded. 'I won't, after what happened, I'm very sure I won't cut myself anymore and definitely not that deep.'

'You won't cut yourself anymore?' I asked hopefully.

'I'm planning on not cutting Yes, it's going to be difficult.'

'It will, but I'm here with you.'

'Thanks, muffin.'

I smiled. 'A small thing of the old Bad.'

'Muffin head.'

I pushed him softly against his shoulder. 'Toxic.'

'Hey! Muffin is a good word.'

'Not in that way.'

'It is!'

'Fine, fine.'

'Muffin head.'

'Thanks, I guess.'

Bad giggled, which caused me to feel a weird feeling in my stomach again. I noticed my face heating up a little as he giggled. It was pretty cute.

'Are you hot?' Bad asked me when he noticed my red face.

'A little, I think.'

'Are you sick?'

'No, I'm fine. It's just a little hot here I think. I feel amazing, there is nothing wrong with me as long as you are okay.'

'I'm okay. Depression and anxiety are still pretty bad, but better than before you came.'

'Is going to the zoo difficult for you?'

He nodded. 'Because there are so many people.'

'It is probably not that crowded and I'm with you. I will protect you Bad. Believe me.'

'I believe you.'

'Don't be scared, everything will be fine. Do you believe me in that too?'

He nodded again. 'I believe you, it's just difficult. I haven't really been outside that often since I got this anxiety.'

'I understand, are you neglecting yourself?'

'No, actually not that much. I still decided to do my daily routine, shower, dress up and get out of bed sometimes. It's so much worse when I keep laying down.'

'Bad?'

'Yeah?'

'How often did you cut yourself?'

'Everyday.'

'Have you passed out before?'

He shook his head heavily. 'Never, I never passed out of I have never even been close. I cut so deep this time and I don't know what was going through my head.'

'If you ever relapse Bad, tell me directly. I want to help you as much as I can.'

'I will, I will tell you before I do anything. It's just very difficult to say, because if I really have the urge to cut, I don't want to tell anyone.'

'Why is that?'

'Because they will take it away from me.'

'Do you 100% want to stop?'

He nodded. 'But I'm so scared to feel even worse than now.'

'I understand, but I promise you, you won't. I will be here with you for when you need me.'

He nodded thankfully and smiled, something that made my stomach flip a little. It felt so weird, I had no idea why I felt like this.

'Bad, I once read this. You should draw a heart on your wrist with lettres of people you love. If you cut, you basically cut through them.'

He nodded heavily. 'I want to try that.'

'Do you know who you will be putting in there?'

He nodded again. 'My mum and you.'

'Aww,' I said blushing.

'Maybe Dream, George and Sapnap and such, but I will make your lettres the biggest.'

'I love you Bad.'

'I love you way more.'

754 words