I Need You

12

TW's:
-Panic attack
-Self hate/negative thoughts

Skeppy POV

I looked in shock at Bad having the worst panic attack I had ever seen. He was screaming and crying so hard and he looked like he was dying. I lifted him up and helped him walk to his bed. His hands grabbed my shirt tightly.

'Skeppy, y-you were s-so mean.'

'What did I do? Oh- did you have a nightmare?'

He shrugged.

'I have never been mean to you, Bad. I love you.'

'No, you don't. You s-said the people w-were right.'

'What people?'

'Bullies.'

He had a nightmare. A real bad nightmare and he started panicking about that so badly that it ended up in the worst panic attack I had ever seen. I wasn't that experienced with panic attacks, but now I saw this...

I scooted a little closer to Bad. I knew I was in love with him and when I just said I loved him, I meant it. I did love him, actually so badly. It was just a few hours after I realised I was in love with him and I had only gotten worse. I liked him really bad, the weird feeling were butterflies. I was in love. In love with my best friend.

'Do you hate me?'

'I don't.'

'You do, you hate me.'

'I love you.'

'Don't lie. I'm ugly, unlovable. No one had ever loved me. I'm the worst person.'

'Never say anything like that again. You're so beautiful and handsome. I love you more than anyone in the world.'

That was true, I loved him like I loved no one in the world. Bad looked up, he stopped hyperventilating. He was still softly sobbing. His eyes looked amazing. He looked amazing in his whole.

'You are not serious.'

'I am, I wish you knew how serious I am right now. I never loved anyone more than you. Of course I love my parents and such, but our friendship is different. I love you so much, Bad.'

'No.'

'Yes, how can I prove it, Darryl?'

'You never called me that.'

'I want to show you how serious I am.'

'Are you really not sick of me?'

'No, I love spending every single second in my life with you.'

'Prove it.'

'How?'

'I don't know.'

I grabbed his hand and wrapped my arm tighter around his shoulders. I pulled him close and looked at him.

'How do you want me to prove it, Bad?'

He shrugged again. I moved even closer to him and looked in his beautiful eyes. I moved my hand slowly to his chin and lifted his face a little higher. He looked at me and stared in my eyes. I rubbed my thumb over his hand and moved my other hand to his cheek. I rubbed my thumb over it too and felt my butterflies in my stomach. I completely got lost in the moment and moved a little closer, pressing our foreheads together.

'What are you doing, Skeppy?'

I looked him closely in his eyes and moved my face even closer. I tilted my head a little and pushed my lips softly on his. He didn't kiss back in the first second, but kissed back after the second one. We were kissing, I was kissing Bad. I felt my stomach explode with butterflies and was extremely hot. His lips were so extremely soft- I heard Bad softly mutter and he started pushing me away softly. I startled, did I do something wrong, did he not like the kiss as much as I did? Maybe I should have asked first.

He then pushed me fully away and started crying even harder than he did before.

'I'm so sorry, I- I just wanted to prove I love you.'

He couldn't speak, all he did was cry and look at me in disgust. He moved away from and started hyperventilating. He soon ended up in having a panic attack again, this time maybe even worse. He pushed me completely away and I felt tears coming up in my eyes. I ruined everything, what was wrong with me. I was gay, sure, but I just randomly kissed a straight guy.

'Bad, I'm sorry.'

'Never touch me ever again.'

704 words