Finger Painting

Chapter 34: May 19th, 2017

Warnings: extreme self-harm, blood

unedited

Lotus Blood - Age 19

"You're a monster," the woman breathed, staring warily at the knife at her throat and remaining as still as possible, "you wouldn't - you wouldn't kill me." It seemed like she couldn't wrap her head around the fact that I was a seasoned murderer and that I would kill her quickly if I didn't want to hear what she had to say.

Pulling out a dining table chair, I pushed it towards her and gestured for her to take a seat as I grabbed my own chair. We sat in silence before she began talking again and murmuring a bunch of religious bullshit.

"He says thou shalt not murder, you cannot do this, please," tears began to form in her eyes, "I have children, and a husband - please." she was begging and I pressed the tip of the knife into her throat, "you cannot, you're such a pretty girl, you would never - you couldn't kill."

"I killed my own mother, what do you think I could do to you?" I said, tilting my head, the woman's eyes grew wide and she began shaking. Tired of her begging, I harshly stabbed her in the throat until she collapsed onto the chair - she convulsed once then stilled as blood oozed out of her throat.

I paid no mind to her and put the dirty knife in the sink as I rinsed all the dishes, then I put all the bowls, plates, and silverware into the now open dishwasher along with the many knives I had used over the week. Once the dishwasher had made the beeping noise that signaled it had started work on cleaning, I grabbed some paper towels and attempted to soak up the blood that had dripped onto the floor.

Blood is much easier to clean up when it's wet. It's not difficult when it's dry but it takes a bit more scrubbing so I saved myself the hassle and soaked up as much fresh blood as I could. And before I put the woman in the basement, I grabbed a clean knife in case I needed to cut anything extra open to easily access her blood while painting.

"Poor thing, thought preying on my emotions would save her," I pushed the woman's hair out of her face and hooked my arms under her shoulders. Throwing her to the floor, I grabbed her wrists and began dragging her to the basement door, it was dark in the foyer since it was around ten at night. I was consumed in my humming and I didn't hear the door unlock or open, until Blaine's voice hit my ears like a tsunami and time stopped.

No.

This isn't real.

I'm dreaming.

Hallucinating.

"Lotus?" He was frozen in his place and I dropped the woman as I turned to my terrified boyfriend. His gorgeous coffee-bean eyes were glazed over with tears and I could see his hands shaking as his eyes darted from the dead body to my bloody fingers and guilty face.

Nothing was said and I tried to convince myself this was just a nightmare.

I'm going to wake up.

I'm going to wake up and go sleep with my beautiful Blaine and everything is going to be-

"P-Please tell me she's the first," his body was shaking now and I could see the fear plaguing his body as the situation fully unfolded. He awaited an answer and I wished that I hadn't given him the keys to my house - I wish I hadn't been so stupid.

Hesitantly, I shook my head and dropped to my knees - my bloody fingers running through my hair as sobs wracked my body, "you weren't supposed to know," I croaked, shaking my head, "you were never supposed to find out." My eyes ran over Blaine, his body was frozen and he shook his head again, his face growing dark - his jaw clenching and his eyes becoming icy.