Chapter 12: February 16th, 2013

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I want to put a warning on this chapter but it would spoil what happens at the end. It's not as graphic as the physical abuse in other chapters but it does deal with very heavy topics - continue at your own risk.

Lotus Blood - Age 14

Hesitantly, I opened the door to room one hundred and forty-three and checking my detention slip beforehand, timidly walked inside.

"Detention?" The teacher at the desk mumbled as she held her hand out for what I presumed was the slip I'd received in the third period today. Nodding, I placed the small yellow slip of paper in her hand before she marked my name down on a clipboard.

"No eating, drinking, talking, using your phone, or doing homework." She stared me down and her angular, pale face sent a shiver down my spine as I stumbled away from her desk. The room itself was sparsely populated with only a couple of kids peppered around - dozing off because everything else except sleeping wasn't allowed.

"Hey!" A bubbly girl with lavender hair tapped my shoulder and giggled as she glanced at the distracted teacher before dragging me into the seat next to her.

"Can I help you?" I said bitterly, leaning away from the animated girl with my arms crossed to my chest. Unfazed, she introduced herself as Macy and asked for my name immediately.

"I'm Lotus," I mumbled as her entire face lit up and she went on to explain the beautiful qualities of the Lotus flower. She was an interesting type of person - her hair seemed to match her vivacious personality and she didn't appear to be upset at the tone of my voice or my closed-off body language.

"So, why are you in here anyway?" Macy looked me up and down with her large hazelnut eyes, "You don't look like the type to get in trouble." My face burned and I explained to her how I had maybe, sort of, cussed out one of my classmates - Noah.

"I think he's in my gym class. Him and his friends are the biggest assholes I've ever met," Macy sighed a chuckled a little. "I guess you wanna know what I did to get detention?" I shrugged and she continued, "I kinda sorta punched my ex-friend in the face for outing me to my family."

"Outing you?"

"I'm openly bisexual around school and my friends, and I wasn't planning on telling my parents until I was ready to move out in case they had a bad reaction... luckily, they were tolerant of my sexuality and I'm still alive." Macy shot me a weak smile and I returned it, mumbling an apology before switching my gaze towards the dozing teacher at the front of the room. Her eyes were lidded while staring at her phone and didn't even look up once even though Macy and I continued to whisper our conversation.

"Do you want my number so we can chat more?" Macy offered when the teacher announced our time was up and we could go home. Nodding my head slowly, I took a deep breath and handed her my phone so she could put her phone number into my contacts.

This can be the last time you talk to her.

You don't have to text her if you don't want to.

"Great," a smile spread across Macy's face and she caught me off guard with a small hug until she pulled away quickly and sauntered out of the room. "Bye, Lotus!" I whispered a placid goodbye to her that she definitely didn't hear.

Getting up, I left the room after the little number of highschoolers had already filed out of that damned classroom. As usual, my brother had ignored my mother's wishes for him to pick me up from school after detention - forced to walk home, at least I had made the smart decision to bring a thicker coat to combat the chilling winter air.

The tiny pebbles crackled and crunched under my shoes as I trudged up the driveway, watching as the sun dipped behind the houses across the street. Giggling and screaming from nearby, my ears perked up and I noticed Blaine and his sister, April, playing some sort of game with a ball in their front yard.

He spends too much time with her.

Blaine always cut our conversations short because of something he had to do with his sister. He never said that he was already doing something important, I was always his second choice.

You like him.

I managed to come to terms with it.

I know I shouldn't hate April for taking up his time when his parents fought 24/7. I wouldn't harbor so much hatred for her if she hadn't looked at me like I was the dirt she walked on when she waltzed into Blaine's room to see what he had been doing at the time. Only two years younger than Blaine, the asshole twelve-year-old had also called me a depressed hag while Blaine was in the bathroom - this, in turn, made me close my window and curtains to avoid crying in front of the smug girl.

That's no reason to hate her.

That is.

Hating people is a common thing I do, liking people is new to me - Blaine's sister is an inconvenience and she's the problem. Not as big of a problem as me, but a big enough problem so that it gets under my skin and drives me insane from the inside out.

Blood boiling, I marched straight up to my room and closed the curtains so the room remained almost completely dark. The feelings of jealousy pestered my mind and I peeked out the deep blue curtains to see Blaine heading inside - leaving April alone on the sidewalk.

Go talk to her.

Be nice.

I made my way down the steps and snuck out of the backdoor - sneaking around my own house until I reached the place where April was trying to stargaze.

"Hey," my voice came out scratchy and I swallowed before asking her to walk to the nearest forest preserve with me to get a better stargazing spot. She agreed but was cautious of me - the girl who she hates asking her to go into a forest with her and stargaze seemed suspicious to her.

"There are fewer lights and you can really count all the stars, along with the sounds of the nearby waterfall crashing against the rocks," I exclaimed smiling softly at her as she remained silent except for a mute 'that sounds cool.'

We reached the place near the waterfall after twenty minutes of walking and I showed April the large cliff just before the waterfall twenty feet below. The rushing water was loud and added to the calming effect of the cool winter night. April's black hair flowed in the wind as she looked over the edge of said cliff - a huge smile painting her face.

Push her.

Don't.

Push her.

Don't.

What the worst that could happen?

She'll die.

And be out of your life.

Out of my way.

Push her.

Don't.

Push. Her.

And in a split second, I had shoved April off the cliff edge and down into the watery depths of the raging waterfall. Her screams echoed in my head and immediately my mind began to fill up with words and phrases, screaming, screaming, so much screaming, it's too loud, too loud, too loud, too loud - shut up. Shut up, Shut up!

You killed her Lotus.

You killed her.

You killed her.

I killed her.

I murdered her.

"Shut up!" Holding my head, I collapsed to the forest floor, crying and screaming - telling myself I killed her... because I did. I killed her. I killed her.

April is dead.

Because I killed her.

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