I Need You; Alois Trancy x Reader

Chapter Forty Nine

*Caution; mentions of mental disorders and other stuff that may make you uncomfortable. It doesn't get to in depth but read with a little caution*

"Why do you always eat that?" Alois asked, watching Y/n eat a wild berry tart. Everyday at two, without fail, he could find her in the dining room enjoying a tart.

Y/n looked up, licking the crumbs off her lips. Alois stood next to her, eying her treat.

"You could get fat."

Her eyes widened and then she scowled.

"That isn't a nice thing to say," Y/n commented dryly, reining in her temper. Alois only shrugged at her words.

"It's true. Did you do this before you moved in? Maybe you are fat and the corset makes you look as skinny as you do."

"What the hell?!" Y/n stood up abruptly, her chair being knocked back from the force of which she stood. "You've seen me without my corset many times you bastard!"

Something wasn't right. Why was he acting like this? What was wrong? Where was the man who always loved and doted on her?

"Don't call me a bastard!" Alois yelled back. He stared into her eyes. Why?

"I'll call you what you act like!" Why?

Why..

why why why wHy WhY WHY

Alois snarled at her. The hostility, the anger, the heavy atmosphere.

"Why are you being so mean?!"

"All I did was ask a question!" Alois snapped back. His eyes... they looked dull. What was wrong with him? Something was definitely wrong. He wouldn't do this unless there was something bugging him.

Alois felt a sharp stinging in his cheek before he saw the maiden he love storm away. He stared at the floor, not really registering what had just happened.

How could he? All he could see was a dead Luka.

It had been such a long time since his last episode. He thought he was getting better. Sure he still had mood swings but nothing to major.

Loneliness surrounded him and tears dripped out of his dull eyes. Luka was gone. He took his pent up emotions out on Y/n and now she probably hated him. Why was he like this? He wished he wasn't, he wished his past wouldn't keep coming back to torture him.

Y/n avoided him for the rest of the day, going as far as to order Yuma to bring dinner to her room. Alois couldn't really blame her for hating him. He hated himself too.

He hated himself so much. Claude hated him, the triplets hated him, Hannah hated him, and now Y/n hated him to.

Y/n was probably going to call off the wedding. Maybe slap him again while she's at it.

Alois' expression was blank as he stared at the papers on his desk, not realising that those were his tears slipping off his cheek and staining the pages.

Why was he crying again.

Oh yea..

"Alois.."

Y/n stared at the blond who was just staring at his desk. It was way past midnight. Why was he still in here and not in bed instead? He didn't look up, didn't acknowledge her. She wondered if he even heard her. Something was definitely wrong with him.

"Alois." Y/n said his name a bit firmer this time. He still didn't look up but he did speak in a quiet, broken voice.

"Here to call off our wedding?"

"What?" Het voice was barely above a whisper. Why would he think that?

"The wedding..." He finally looked up and met her gaze, his eyes raw with tears still sliding down his cheeks.

"Oh, Alois.."

He didn't react as she walked over to him. Didn't react when she stopped in front of him and pulled his head against his chest.

They stayed in that position for a while before Alois wrapped his arms around her waist, sobbing.

"I'm so sorry, please don't hate me! I know I don't deserve you but please don't leave me alone! I love you!"

Y/n hushed him, comfortingly combing her fingers through his hair. When he had calmed down a bit Y/n thought of what question she should ask.

"Why... do you not deserve me?"

"Because," Alois sniffled, "I'm flawed. I'm a mistake and I shouldn't have been born. I'm disgusting. I have so many problems and I don't even know what most of them are.."

"Why were you acting strange this morning?"

Alois stared at a single spot in the wall.

"I sometimes have nightmares that follow me when I wake. I can't escape them. I'm left defensless as I watch my brother die over and over, again and again. I lose myself to it. My head go's to a funny place and my actions become brash. That's why I used to beat on Hannah a lot, she was around the wrong place at the wrong time. You know how I normally act, it's like I become a completely different person."

That explains a lot. Alois has been through a traumatic experience and now most likely suffered PTSD. But that brings up the question why would he share this with her?

"Your voice is powerful."

Yuma and Blaze had said something like that to her before. Maybe that's why he did it? The power in her voice coaxed the truth out of him. She might be able to use this to her advantage.

"Come Alois, it's late. Let's go to bed," Y/n murmered, trying to pull away from the blond. Alois shook his head, grippinh her tighter.

"Don't leave me.."

"I won't leave you.."

Y/n managed to get Alois to believe her words, that she would not be leaving him alone with his horrible, self loathing thoughts. The couple went to Alois' room. He changed into his sleepwear, Y/n quickly turning her back to him so that she wouldn't see anything. It was already bad enough he was changing in the same room as her.

When he was done they both crawled into bed, Y/n wrapping her arms around Alois' shoulders and her legs around her hips. Alois had rested his head on her bossom, curling up and wrapping his arms around her waist.

"Do you want to tell me more about it?"

Alois was silent for a long moment before he nodded.

He didn't tell her his whole past, the only reason he was telling her this much was because her magic was giving him the little nudge he needed to open up. He told her about his past life with Luka. How he lived with his little brother and how a calamity swept over the land, killing everyone but himself. His voice was broken as he told her that Luka had died as well.

Y/n didn't ask any questions, only listening. She didn't say anything, even with the realisation that he was not actually the Earl he said he was.

After his story, Alois had ended up crying himself to sleep. Y/n layed there in the silence, alone with her thoughts. She would accept him no matter who he is. She could only hope he would do the same when he finds out that she ia not a human..

Sorry if this chapter was a little weird, I'm not really experienced in writing these kinds of things. Hope you still enjoyed and I'll see you in the next chapter. Like and comment to support my story.

Ciao!~