No One's POV
A figure was sitting in a chair in front of a fireplace.
He wore a Dark Blue Suit Jacket, Dark Blue Suit Pants, Black Dress Shoes, and a Black Button up Shirt.
His name.... was Crackle.
He had his hair spikey.
He had multiple face tattoos.
One of which, was "Cracked" written on his forehead.
Soon his assistant came in.
"Sir." Said the Assistant. "We found her."
"And you sent her the package?" Asked Crackle, standing up.
"Well," Started the Assistant. "We did. However, they sent it back to us. They also sent a note, asking us not to send over dead squirrels and used bandages."
Crackle turned around.
"WHAT?" He screeched.
Crackle started rolling on the ground, crying uncontrollably.
"SHE'S MY QUEEN!" Cried Crackle, through messy tears.
Crackle got up.
"I EVEN DECORATED THIS ROOM TO HONOR HER!" Crackle screeched.
"Carmen" was written everywhere in the room with Red Sharpie.
There was a store mannequin with a long Red Coat and a Red Fedora in the corner.
Carmen's wanted posters were everywhere.
"Sir, I have a question." Said the Assistant.
"WhAt Is YoUr QuEsTiOn?" Asked Crackle.
"Why do we choose to work for you?" Asked the Assistant. "You're less of a villain to be taken seriously, and more of a guy who watched a lot of hip-hop music videos who's trying to act like a psychotic Mob Boss, only to make the audience cringe at the portrayal of someone who's a fan favorite character."
Crackle nodded.
"I'm sorry, I didn't hear you." Said Crackle. "I was too busy thinking of a music video from Katy Perry."
Crackle walked over to a table with millions of dollars stacked on it.
"It took us 3 weeks to get all this cash." Smiled Crackle.
The Assistant smiled.
"Are you going to give a motivational speech on how crime isn't about money and is only about the adrenaline rush?" Asked the Assistant.
"No." Said Crackle. "I was going to say how we should use the money to buy a million candy bars, and then we take those candy bars, and we build a statue of me in Moscow made out of candy bars."
Crackle started running around the room, flapping his armed like wings, and singing twinkle little star.
The Assistant sighed.
"8 years of Assistant College for this." He sobbed. "I'm still $450k in student debt."
Crackle then farted.
"Uh oh!" Crackle said. "I need a new pair of pants."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Author's Note:
Yeah, I know that Crackle is portrayed terribly in this, but that's the point.
It's suppose to make fun of how Lex Luthor and the Joker were portrayed in 2016.
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