Nothing is Forever

Chapter 8

I marvelled at the beautiful flowers and trees, all so different and so similar at the same time. I was sure I had never seen anything like it, but according to Legolas and Inwe, this was my home, meaning I had definitely seen these gardens before. I just could not remember them.

I knew that with this thought, a frown appeared on my face, but I pushed the sadness and despair back in an attempt to bury it within.

“Here is where you fell out of a tree and almost broke your arm. My father was so angry with you, and with me, also. He forbade us to see each other after that. But somehow, we managed to sneak away.” He turned to face me. “You taught me how to live my life, how to not get so caught up in the world of royalty.”

I smiled at him, wishing I could tell him not to fret over me, but the truth was, I could not tell him that when I was so scared, myself. I sat down beneath the tree and listened to him tell me about other crazy things we did during childhood.

Inwe and Legolas had concluded that the best remedy for my memory loss was to reacquaint me with the life I once knew. Legolas voted to take me out the first day, and then offered again the second. We had spent five consecutive days together since I had awakened, and Inwe had vanished somewhere. I had sensed her inner turmoil and hoped she solved her own problems soon.

Legolas had asked me something, but I had not heard him. “I’m sorry… I must have zoned out or something. What was that?”

He shook his head. “Never mind, I think you have had enough for today, you are not at your full strength. You must rest some more.” I began to protest, but he interrupted me, “Do not argue with me, Merewen Elendil. I fear for your health, we do not want you to weaken when we are only trying to help you get stronger. Come, we will return to your quarters.”

I stood and stepped toward him onto to have my knees give out, I was weaker than I thought, and Legolas reached out to catch me in his arms as the ground rushed up to meet me.

“I guess you’re right… I am not strong enough to be out for so long. I’m sorry,” I laughed at myself, and he helped me stand looking into my eyes as I leaned heavily on him.

Our faces were close, I realized that now, and my breath was heavy. “Apology accepted,” he responded quietly, accepting my penetrating gaze into his eyes and returning one with equal intensity.

We were paralysed a moment, I could not move, only stare deeply into his eyes. I suddenly wished he would hold me. I wished he would take me into his arms and keep me safe. I knew he would keep me safe. My heart beat faster, and my tongue shot out to dampen my red lips, which drew his gaze away. Suddenly, the spell was broken. I stood up with a little help from him and backed away.

“Perhaps we should…” I began, feeling my cheeks redden.

He snapped back to attention, “Of course! Allow me to help you.” He took my arm and led me to my room.

*****

Legolas helped her back to her room, willing his heart to return to its original pace.

This girl from his childhood, his friend, the person closest to him, she had moved. She seemed to barely think of him, the day she left. One day, with simply a stop at his door to tell him of her departure, she left, and he had not seen her again for two years, not long for elves, but too long for him. He had not confessed to her that he cherished her; he had not had the time to tell her he never wanted to leave her. He had not been able to tell her he loved her.

So she went, she was gone, in the blink of an eye, not to be seen for these two long years, and then, only to return to him in this state. He could barely keep the tears from his eyes as he thought back to their endeavours. He could barely hold back when she was limp in his arms, trusting him to keep her safe. He could not take his eyes off her when she stared at him with out reservation, and he barely held onto his sanity when he heard her heavy breath and saw her tongue wet her lips like that. He only wanted to hold her, to kiss her, to touch her, but those were things he could never do, especially not when she was in such a state of amnesia.

He opened her doors and led her to the bed. Legolas was about to leave when Merewen spoke up. “Please do not go. Remain by my side, tell me of my childhood, and tell me of yourself. I miss the sound of your voice already.”

Legolas paused at the doors and then closed them behind him as he re-entered the room “What would you like to know?”

She laughed, “I don’t know what to ask, tell me of yourself.”

He smiled, “I don’t know, milady. I am Legolas, a prince, an archer, a lover, not a fighter, I hate the palace, and I love the woods. I wish that I did not have to remain here. I wish I could roam the woods, go off on adventures, help people, and stay with you in Rivendell… I am so tired of royalty. I would much rather spend time with you, as we did in our childhood.”

“What happened to us?” She asked. Legolas was uncertain what to say.

“I’m sorry, I don’t know what you mean.”

“Something happened, I can see it in your eyes. Were we lovers?” Legolas was taken aback.

“Lovers? No… we never… we were not… just friends, sweet girl. We were childhood friends.”

“But, my Prince, we grew out of childhood long ago. Surely, childhood friendships changed into something… different.”

Legolas smiled, “I think you are tired, Merewen. I think you need to rest.”

He stood to go.

“Did you ever want to be lovers? Did I ever return the ambition?” She asked, uninhibited.

Legolas paused again by the doors; he could not speak. He would not lie to her. He could not tell her he did not love her like that, he could not tell her he never yearned for her love.

“Legolas… you have yet to answer me.” Her eyes pleaded with him, and there was something there, passion, secrets, an embarrassed demeanour, as though she forced the words from her body.

He looked into her eyes. “Merewen, I… must leave you to your rest.”

“Legolas!” She called, but he closed the doors and felt a lone tear fall from his eye before he turned and raced down the hall.