captain | levi x reader

fifty one

ok this chapter is short cause i have a lot of shit to do this week and i didnt wanna leave u guys hanging for three years 💀💀

anyways NOT SOME OF YOU GUYS ON CHAPTER 48 ALL LIKE "oMg iS thIs iT i wAnT a sAd enDing" now yall are like "omg author plz nooo let them end up together" sis.. 😀😀😀 what is the truth

also note i did not read the manga passed season 3 so this contains no manga spoilers but it does contain season 3 spoilers. however, just in case you didn't watch s3 i tried to make it less spoil-y ?? 

anyways love u guys see you in the next one (prob next week bc  im trying to update each week) <3

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The journey back to the Survey Corps was, according to Levi, one of the hardest things he could have ever done. He felt helpless when he had to force himself to go the other direction, away from where the female titan had taken you. 

As he rode back on his horse, the clouds seemed to have stopped crying. Although when he had finally arrived back to bear the news to everyone, some of them couldn't stop. Levi would never forget the looks on everyone's faces when he arrived without you.

"W-Where's [Name]?" said Eren, shakily. He had already known the answer by the way Levi gazed solemnly at the crowd of soldiers, but Eren needed to hear it to believe it.

"Gone," was all Levi said and it took him all his energy not to break down right then and there. 

No one could say anything to comfort their captain, rather just stood shocked and frozen, staring at the ground with wide, shaking eyes. 

"No, that can't be." Eren walked towards Levi, baffled. "Did you find her body? Maybe she's still out the-"

"No, Eren we can't and we won't." Levi interrupted.

"B-But Captain-"

"I SAID WHAT I SAID." 

Perhaps it had been the built up frustration Levi was keeping to himself, or the fact that he could no longer pretend that he was the strong and stoic leader that everyone saw him as, but when he screamed back at Eren everybody knew not to touch upon the subject any longer.

Eren recoiled slightly, being dragged away by Mikasa. "And the female titan?"

"She got away."

"So the expedition..."

"We failed."

Yes, the expedition had failed. So many things had to go wrong all in such a short span of time. But in a world full of malice and blood, this wasn't supposed to feel new. Especially to a man like Levi Ackerman. 

He gripped his fists tighter than he had been, as if trying to escape the reality he was in right now. All he could feel were a mix of overwhelming emotions that weighed heavy on his heart, but he didn't have time to care about his feelings because it was time to go home. Back inside the walls. 

However it didn't feel like home to Levi anymore because you weren't going to be there with him. He almost didn't want to leave, he wanted to savor every memory of you that stained the world outside of the walls. 

With you gone, all things soft and beautiful and loving had left with you too.

Perhaps he could have done better, just as he could have done in every aspect of his life. He thought that maybe if he was stronger, if he was a better man than the one that you saw everyday, then maybe just maybe you would still be with him.

Levi's heart feels heavier knowing that he failed.

You had awoken to a slam on a desk and bright rays of sun shining into your eyes. It felt surreal hearing birdsong outside the open window, feeling short bursts of wind escape into the room you rested in. 

"Eat up, [Name]." A deep voice urged you from the foot of the bed you sat up in. "We gotta get moving soon."

Your eyes groggily focused onto the man before you, "Reiner? Where am I? Where's Annie?"

"You're in Wall Sina."

With no time left to spare, your first instinct was to immediately rush out of bed and jump out the window. However, before you could even reach any sort of exit you felt your ankle tug against a chain. 

"Fuck," you sneered, incoherently.

"Yeah, I mean. We could real quick." Reiner chuckled as he walked towards you, his build towering yours.

"Go die," you spat.

Reiner tilted his head back towards you and touched the red area of his cheek, where your hand had just collided with a mere seconds ago. "Didn't know you were into that."

Before you could bring yourself to slap him once more, a few solid knocks on the door brought you two back to the present. Your eyes looked towards the knocks, a part of you anticipating some sort of miracle.

"Who is it?" Reiner called out, but received no answer.

After pushing you back onto the bed, Reiner crossed the room to hesitantly answer the door. His large hands fumbled with the door knob, and as the door creaked open, a familiar brunette walked in with a familiar uniform that almost relieved you.

You quelled down the urge to scream while the door was open, but Ymir walked towards you, making you focus all your attention on her. Another traitor, you thought to yourself, gulping down the invisible lump down your throat. 

"How have you been, [Name]?" She said in a surprisingly calm manner which had caught you off guard.

You glanced up to meet her eyes briefly, "please tell me how Levi is doing?"

Ymir exhaled deeply, she was no stranger to the longing you felt in your heart. The way your eyes had watered as you spoke Levi's name and the way you had to whisper his name in fear of breaking down... Ymir found the generosity from the depths of her heart to give you the answers that you wanted.

"They just got back from the expedition not too long ago," she begins. "As for Levi..."

You began to tug at the hem of her jacket, eyes begging for more. She immediately took notice of this and sighed once again.

"Levi is doing fine."

For a woman of few words, it was very much a shock to you that Ymir was actually talking to you. You couldn't even recall much of any conversations you had with her in the past, just the occasional small talk when Krista came around.

As if to change the topic, Ymir grabbed the loaf of bread that Reiner had placed subsequently. "Here, eat this. We're leaving soon."

You reluctantly took the loaf from her hand. "Where are we going?"

"Beyond the walls," Reiner chimed in and pointed at your stomach. "[Name], we need you and that child." 

In seemed that in the moment, you weren't able to contain the anguish in that kept increasing. The pit in your stomach worsened as every second passed by, it didn't help at all that everyone--Annie, Reiner, and now Ymir--was being vague about everything. 

Even so, their message was well received by you. You had came to accept this reality. As hopeless as you were, you convinced yourself that you would see Levi again.

"Fine." You said, sternly. "Just let me do one thing and I'll do anything you say."

Ymir and Reiner exchanged confused glances at each other before looking back towards you. 

"Sure, what is it?"