Besidju - Shamana, Joji
It was 4 am. Again, I walked up the stairs and opened the door to the rooftop.
"I told you not to come here." Joji said, looking down at me from the top of the little concrete building for the stairs. I looked up to see his face highlighted by the lights of the streets.
I waved at him and he scoffed.
"You still look tired. Go to sleep." He said as I climbed up the building with a ladder. I sat beside him, dangling my legs. "I always look tired." I looked out to the scenery of the streets of New York. It is not unconventional for the streets to be busy at times like this. Well, it's probably because it was a busy week. College students learn for exams, people go to work or something.
"Are you gonna go out later?" I looked at him. He took a huff of his cigarette and blew it to the air and my eyes followed it and watched it slowly disperse. "Yeah. Chloe." He looked at me with an expression I couldn't understand. Disappointment, or happiness? I can't tell. It's probably because of the lighting.
"You?" He said, catching my attention. I looked at him, a little confused. "Hm?" I hummed. "Are you going somewhere?" He continued. I though about meeting someone later that day. I wanted to talk to that person. "Yeah, if he agrees." I answered. "Oh?" George said as he nudged me with his shoulder. "A date?" He continued as he looked at me. I didn't look back, I just stared at the scenery of the city.
"No, I just want to talk to him." I answered. He looked away.
"Do I know him?"
"Yes."
"Is he here now?" He looked back at me.
"No."
"I thought it was me." He giggled. "Don't flatter yourself." I chuckled.
We sat in silence for a couple minutes. It was just me, Joji, the cold air, and the busy streets. I took one of his cigarettes and looked at it closely. "You wanna try one?" He asked me. "No, I don't know. Does it help with anything?" I asked him as I stared at the stick. "Sometimes."
That made me think of decisions. I shouldn't try it. I should never. Meanwhile, the other side of me played devil's advocate. I knew it can make me have a bad habit, but I need something to get rid of my stress. I put the cigarette stick in between my fingers as if I was about to smoke.
Joji handed me his lighter. "What?" I was confused. "You look like you wanna smoke. It's your choice, actually." He pulled back his lighter and I held is wrist. "I kinda want to try. I don't know." I let go of my weak grip and put my hand on my thigh. "It's totally fine if you don't. Well, it's better if you don't."
"Show me how." I said. "What the hell do you mean? You see me smoke almost every day." He chuckled. He told me how to lit up a cigarette. I put the stick in between my lips with my right hand turning on the lighter and my left hand covering the fire to prevent it from being blown by the wind.
"Now breathe it in." I breathed it in a little and I can feel my throat burn. I coughed it all out. Joji held the stick for me while I panted for air and coughing out the smoke. I had my hand on my chest as I breathe in and out rapidly. "What the fuck? How do you do this thing?" I looked at him. He laughed looking at me like this. "How am I supposed to sing?" I continued. "You'll get used to it." He breathed in my cigarette he held.
I sat back and looked up to the sky. I started laughing from how funny my try was. He joined my laugh and asked if I want to try again. "Yes." I had the stick in between my fingers. I put back in between my lips and breathed it back in. It was still burning, but I tried to control it. I coughed it out again. "I'm gonna act like I'm used to it." I said with my hand on my throat.
