what is wrong with the universe

wtf

I seriously have no idea what is wrong with me it is like i am crazily in love but it makes me wonder why i have been rude to him

I met him ten years ago in fifth grade  and have been thinking about him but i dont want to admit it so i went around asking out radom guys even his bestfriends i always loved to annoy him it is really mystery to me too i am all sweet to other peoples but with him i am an A class bitch

It continued until ninth grade then i moved out of the country  and after six years here i am in the airport waiting for my sister and cousin to pick me up and wondering aboit my first love i know i shouldn't say i am in love with other guy when i have boyfriend but i just cant help it ross always made me feel like that
Just then my phone rang
'hello'
'amy'
'jess babe ,did u miss me ?'
'ofcourse babydoll that goes without saying but that is not what i called i have good news'
'what is it'
'i am gonna be transferred into your country '
'oh my god that is so great'i squealed

Dont blame me i love jess but ross just makes me feel special damn but i choose jess actualy i always chose someone other than ross the thought made my heart tug but i just pushed it away
'baby'oh god i cant be thinking about ross ryt now'yea'
'are you ok you have been quiet straight 5 minutes '
'sorry i am just excited' well that wasn't totally a lie
'are you that excited ? 'if only he knows
'ofcourse sweatheart '
'ok i will call you later stay safe love you'
'love you too '
this wasn't totally lie either i am so happy to have him by my side he was always supportive ,loving and funny he was always there for me but my feeling for him is nothing compared yo Ross yet it doesnt mean i will go to him as i said i chose jess

I first met him in my second year of collage and he was so hot every girl was throwing themselves at him but he only had an eye for my bestfriend Brittany she  always loved to play with peoples feelings me not aware of that i introduced her to my boyfriend (currently my ex) jack he was very possessive and beat up any guy seen near me once poor guy asked me for direction and ended up with broken nose i kind of liked his dominant behavior at the time but i got him tryingto get in  britanny's pant in goddamn couch at party  so i just went to the beach i didnt cry i wasn't hurt a bit he was just rebound for ross so it just hurt my pride and then i saw jess looking so depressed i have always known his feelings for my best friend  so i assumed he saw them and went to talk to him but the night ended me hooking up with him and he asked me out in the morning here i am now with my crazy cousin and my mature sister driving back home

I went home unpacked my things went to shower and sleep then i wake up with my sister pounding on the door

'what?'i asked annoyed
'its Martha your friend'
Martha is my childhood friend i always told her everything she listen and understands me really well 'missed me'
'hey rosses's wifey'
'shut up dumbass '
'ok smartass'
'ughh just meet me at the park tommorow'
'6 am ryt'
'ya'
'ok see ya'
then i went back to sleep just like that