This Burning Love

Advice and Home

Carson's POV

Lily and I end up sitting on the sidewalk outside of her house, along the street as we look over at the small woods across from us.

I don't say anything and neither does she at first until she finally speaks up and looks over at me. "How did you meet him?" She asks and my laughs is both uncomfortable and disbelieving, not sure how to tell her this in any happy way.

"I was going for a jog since I couldn't stay still and I was going to cross the street. His truck stopped in front of me and when he stopped, I looked over and I saw him crying." I pause there and while she doesn't say anything I hear her sigh and it feels heavy and watery. "Then he opened up the door and I knew. And he knew and we stared at each other and it was like he panicked, got back in and drove away."

Her hands come up to cup her face before she turn to me and I see the pain and tears in her eyes, her lip wobbling a little bit. "It's my fault. I told him to stay." She whispers and I frown.

"It's about the pack isn't it?" I ask her and she nods her frown deepening.

"He's the best brother ever. He's always been there for all of us, even mom and dad when they wanted their own kid so bad. Jonah has always been there for our family, and this pack tried to tear him apart. That and the pain that he has to feel from the family as well as himself.... they might succeed soon." Lily says, her voice sounding heavy and sad, and I know the feeling.

"He sounds like he's going through a lot." I say, looking over at the tree again, because it's exactly as I thought. He has so much pain and baggage and I have my own to carry. I have my own shit to deal with so how could I help someone with theirs.

"That's the thing. He's always been so strong and independent I didn't even know how much everything was bothering him until now." She whimpers and I frown.

"But I have been hearing things for years." I say and she nods and gives me a small smile.

"Six. Six years he's been strong for the sake of this ungrateful pack and our parents. Six years he felt like he didn't belong." She whispers and I think about it.

All my life I didn't belong because I didn't want to. I don't like people and I don't want them to accept me because I don't care about them or their opinion about me. But I can't even think about what it would be like to not be accepted but he very same people who are supposed to be your new family.

"He's strong." I agree with her and she laughs a little bit though her tea tea before she gives me the most sassy deadpanned expression I've ever seen form her.

"He's stubborn that's what he is." She tells me and I laugh but nod at her before I turn and ask her a question thats sticking to my tongue, but I need to get it out of my head.

"Is it wrong of me to be scared of getting a Mate. Of being his Mate? He has so much going on. How do I even help with that? How do I make that better? I don't know how to comfort people. I don't even like hugs." I tell her going on a mini rant and she giggles a little bit making me raise my brows in surprise and confusion.

"Sorry it's just... that's what Ash asks me all the time. He's scared too. So am I. It's nice to see that grown ups get scared about meeting their Soulmate too." She says and I nod.

"I'm scared shitless." I admit and she smiles at me before she answers my questions.

"It's not bad for you to be scared. Everyone gets scared I'm scared all the time." She whispers before turning towards me with big eyes. "I'm scared I won't be a good Alpha like my Dad is because I'm an Omega."

"Omegas can be wonderful Alphas. It's all about how you lead your people." I tell her not liking her talking bad whiny he self but she shakes her head as if that's not the point.

"Mom tells me that he's been scared all of his life and that it's normal. He told me that fear isn't a bad thing. The only time it turns bad is when fear turns into regrets because you let it control your life." She tells me and I think about it to myself for a little bit before I laugh.

"Luna Cody has always had a way with words." I tell her and she laughs as well.

"I have to go though. I need to make sure my parents are okay." Lily finally whispers after a few beats of silence and I realize just how late it's getting.

I stand up along side the smaller wolf and brush off my ass before walking her back o her driveway towards her door. She goes to open it and I turn away, but halfway down, I here her voice behind me.

"Carson, wait! I almost forgot." And I turn around to see exactly why the little wolf meant to give me.

✨✨✨

The walk home is cold and lonely, though it has toning to do with the lack of company. I can feel it inside of me, the knowledge that my Mate isn't with me.

'Do you think he wants us?' Houston asks me and I sigh as I try to think about it.

'We truly never know what we want.' I tell him, avoiding the question and he knows it but he doesn't say anything.

I unlock the door and walk inside my house, closing the door behind me before I make my way upstairs to my room in the dark, only taking off my socks and shoes before I face plant into my bed with a soft groan and immediately close my eyes.

Today felt like two years. And tomorrow, hopefully with be a better day.

~~~~~~~~~~
Why do you think about Cody's advice? What do you think is going to happen next? Whew guys i'm so sleepy.

Thoughts?

Comments?

QOTD: What superpower do you wish you had?