This Burning Love

Knocks and Surprise

Jonah's POV

I don't know when I fell asleep, but when I wake up, my pillow is wet, whether from tears or good sleep drool, I'm not sure.

My eyes stay closed against the sun trying to climb through my window, and I sigh out a breath of pure frustration and tiredness from my body as I lay there. At first I'm not sure what it is that woke me up, and so I chalk it up to the sun. But as soon as I go to lay back down and pull my blanket over my face, I finally figure it out.

Because not a second later, there's a knock on my door.

I groan and think about ignoring it, until I realize who it could be.

My back stiffens as I get up to answer the door, knowing that it's probably my dad to rip me a new one for upsetting Mom and Lillian. I don't bother pulling on a shirt and instead make my way towards the front of my apartment and take a deep breath before I unlock the door and pull it open to reveal...

Him.

The man from yesterday and not my dad. The man who I almost ran over and ran away from with tears running down my face. If my parents saw me in that moment they would be ashamed.

     "Hey." He tells me, his brown short hair in a disarray as if he spent the last twenty minutes shoveling his hands through it. I breath in his smell, Sage and Rain, calming and intoxicating all at once. I see his eyes follow down my face and latch on to my naked chest, and a blush coats both his cheeks and neck, and I can't help the cocky feeling that rushes through me as I think about how much he likes what he sees.

     "Hi." I answer back, not knowing what else to say.

    "Uh, can I come in?" He asked me after a few second of silence and I frown, slightly panicking, not knowing what to do. I frown, but nod, and move out of the way so he can come inside, hands stuffed into his pockets.

     I try to hold my breath as he passed me, but I can't help but breath him in quietly, smiling softly to myself at the calm that washes over me.

    Once he's inside, I close the door and turn towards him, crossing my arms over my naked chest as if that could protect me from whatever conversation we're about to have. He's a wolf after all. All wolves have done since I've grown up is hurt and ridicule me. I guess it's better to get this out of the way now.

     "I visited your sister last night." He says, his back towards me as he looks around my apartment. There's barely anything here. Just the necessities. It doesn't feel like home, just a place to live.

      "And she told you to come here." I conclude, but he shakes his head.

    "She told me a lot of things but that wasn't it. That was my idea. She just told me where I could find you." He tells me and I nod my head.

"So, you're here." I talk about the obvious because I don't know what to say, and he finally turns around, his brown hair curls slightly at the top, greens eyes looking at me as if just as lost as I am.

"Yeah. Still don't know why." He admits and I laugh, a reall long hard one and shake my head, my curls smacking me in my face a little, but I don't mind. When I calm down, I find him looking at me as if I'm crazy.

"Sorry. I'm not used to having someone be so honest." I admit and he shrugs his shoulders.

"Why did you run away last night?" He asks me suddenly and it makes my smile face away. I turn away from his wolf eyes and walk towards the living area, twirling my fingers in the air until a shirt falls along my skin. Even though it's simple cotton, it makes me feel like I'm not as exposed to his eyes as I was before.

"I don't know." I answer him, but he snorts.

"For someone who likes honesty, you're shit at it." He tells me and I turn to glare at him, but he doesn't even flinch, just looks at me with those strong sharp eyes that make my heart race.

"Out of practice." I retort and he raises a brow at me before motioning me to keep going. "I was overwhelmed."

"Fair enough. The Goddess made me go on that run. Maybe that's how we were supposed to meet. Pride aside." He tells me.

"Cocky know it all wolf. Just what I needed." I sneer at him. And I know I shouldn't be talking to him like this, but all I can see is the people of his pack. I'm scared shitless that if I let my guard down he's going to be just like those wolves who throw everything that I've ever tried to be for the sake of the pack, back in my face.

         But to my surprise, he laughs. "And I thought my walls were high. That's fair I guess. Not cocky, just grew up independent." He says and I shake my head in confusion.

      "Who are you?" I ask him and he smiles.

      "Carson. My wolf is Houston. And I teach your sister from time to time." He tells me and that explains why he went to see her.

      "If you teach her, then you already know who and what I am." I tell him, trying to give us a way out without it ended up messy, but he just shrugs. I which he would stop. It's easier to just give up before things get hard. I don't have the heart to hurt someone else or force someone to go through what I do with me.

        "Yeah. People are assholes. Especially wolves. If it was up to me, I would like to be an Incubus. They know how to party." He says and I groan.

      "What is wrong with you? Say something mean. Be an asshole. Talk shit. Walk out the fucking door." My voice raises a little, a little out of fear, and a lot our of desperation.

      "I am an asshole. Just not the unjustified kind."

     "You don't know what you're trying to get yourself into." I warn him, looking away from those eyes that appear so sweet, but have a raging storm of someone addicting and funny that I'm aching to get to know. But I know I can't.

      "Oh I do. I thought about it real hard. Honestly, didn't even want a Mate. Don't like people, and think everyone should have a Mute button." He says and then he stops.

      "But?" I promt him, and he sighs and mumbled something that I don't quite catch.

     "But your sister put in a good word for you. And I know how rough it is to have the pack look down on you. When things got tough for me, I would have liked having someone there." He tries to convince me again, and I scoff.

     "Everyone always gives up on me and changes their mind, at the end of the day."

      "If I didn't know any better, I would say you're just a big old scaredy-cat that can't take a little bit of heat. You can't run away from everything." Carson says, and I ignore the way his name sends a shiver down my spine.

      "I can. And I will. Including you. Now if you'll excuse me, I need a shower." Without a second glance I pass him and walk towards my room, hoping he'll take a hint and go home even if I secretly don't want him to.

    My head is a mess.

    I want him to stay.

    I want him to do what he said he would for me, but believing people when they say they care for you, only makes the let down hurt worse. Being an asshole has become my go to defense mechanism. Becoming what everyone already thinks I am.

     When I close the door behind me, I sigh to myself, but I stomp down the feeling of longing in my throat, to finally have someone there in my corner, and instead head towards the en-suite to get ready to shower.