BELOVED | James Potter

Chapter 20

MARCH 27th, 1976

James has been getting better. He talks more and much more lively after a slap of truth from Gwen. But, he gained a bit of drinking habit, which the girl noticed. Though, today is his birthday. His sixteenth birthday. Unlike Remus' sleepover birthday tradition. They would have birthday parties for James — as he wishes to celebrate getting older with a bang.

"Happy Birthday Jamie!" Gwen gave the boy a hug. A scent of alcohol, cigarettes and peppermint around him. She sighed, "You're sixteen but you're drinking and smoking. That's not healthy James."

"It's fine." The boy huffed.

"There you go again. You're deflecting everything I said." Gwen groaned, "Whatever. Here's your gift." She left annoyed. Giving him a paper bag.

James opened it to see a jar with folded papers. The boy furrowed his brows in confusion. So, he sat on the bed and opened the papers one by one.

I remember when we were 5, as I was taller than you. You would hid behind me when we go to crowded places. You would whisper to me how adults are giants and that you're completely terrified. You were so adorable.

I remember when we were 7, you broke my tooth from your antiques. It was a wild time. But, thinking about it now. I kinda miss it.

I remember when we were 9, on your birthday, you had a crush on our neighbor. She was 16, James. It was hilarious, you tried to show how 'cool' you were but instead you fell on you arse as you tried to do a backflip. We spent your birthday at St. Mungo's because of that.

I remember when we were 11, right before Hogwarts. You looked me in the eye and might I add — coerced me to try a broom out with you. Now I have a slight scar on my cheeks. Thank you for that.

I remember when we were 13, before I went to Greece. I never really said anything because I didn't want you to be embarrassed but I saw it. I saw you teared up a bit on not being able to spend the summer with me. It was sweet.

I remember when we were 15, which means last year. I remember seeing you so excited on winning the quidditch cup. You were injured at the time, but seeing your face lit up made me happy.

Last note, it's your birthday. I didn't really know what to give you after all the jewelries you gave me. I decided to write you these small remembrance of our past. Because you're now sixteen. I hope you'll continue being the boy I know. Happy Birthday Jamie. I love you.

P. S I bought you those muggle guitar. I'll give it to you after the party. ;)

James Potter was in awe. He knew he hasn't been himself lately. He understood that saying I love you can be platonic and that's how Gwen feels toward him. He can't change that and he acknowledged that.

James put on a tight long sleeve black shirt with a pair of black jeans. He left the dorm to enter the room of requirements. The boy wanted to apologize — no. Beg for forgiveness towards Gwen. He had been treating her like shite and he needed her to forgive him. At least as a proper closure. The hazel-eyed boy knew, that the girl will forever be in his heart no matter what happens.

Entering the room of requirements, Gwen was with Apollo. James groaned to that. He didn't want to converse in any way with the Slytherin. Maybe he can ask for her forgiveness another day. Her funny laugh echoed. She was laughing and it wasn't because of James. It was because of Apollo Greengrass. Maybe he is the better man.

"Happy birthday Prongs!" Sirius shouted.

Everybody wished James a happy birthday and he could only respond with a polite smile. Gwen was with Pandora and Apollo.

"James?" A voice stopped him from his trance.

"Huh?"

"Happy birthday." It was Lily. She smiled.

"Thank you."

"I know things have been hard lately. Especially when you're struggling with your feelings but I just hope you don't let that get to you." Lily advised and left.

Obviously James being who he is took a completely different toll on what the red-head had said.

"She's right. It's my birthday. I can do whatever I want. I should get a drink." The boy got to the drinking table.

Drink.

Drink.

Drink.

Drink.

James' face is now beat red. His visions are blurry. It feels like his feelings are overflowing. An urge to just grab Gwen and told her how he feels about her. Not caring anymore about rejection. He searched for her. To no avail. He drank more.

"Prongs. I know it's your birthday. But I don't think you should drink that much." Remus said. He also had been a drinking a little bit but not to the point of losing his mind.

"No. I need to drink. No. I need Gwen. Where is she?" He looked around. James found the girl sitting in the corner of the room. Laughing to whatever Apollo had said. James was once again jealous. He has been locking up his feelings this past month but now, full of alcohol, he instead opened up the lock in his heart. He felt it. This overwhelming feeling. A rush. Mixed with awe and warmth. Only for the girl with amber eyes.

The night was getting late. People were leaving. Some were passed out. James was still drinking. He was a lightweight but somehow he still stood up. Maybe it's from his own will. His will of staying awake. Maybe waiting for Gwen. He looked around once more. The girl was gone. They didn't even talk throughout the night. He lost his chances.

An image of a laughing Gwen was inserted in his mind. It's beautiful. His Gwen. It terrifies him how unbelievably strong his feelings are towards this girl. He never felt that with anyone. Not even with Lily Evans. Though she was only a crush. Oh how he wishes that Gwen's in his arms right now. Everything would probably be better. It's true. Gwen was like a medicine to him. Calming. Everything makes sense. Better.

With that dangerous thought. James Potter drank more firewhiskeys.

Author's note:
Why does it seem like im addicted to birthday chapters haha but fr tho it's not my fault my bby remmy and jamie hve close birthdays 😭