I wish I had told you

The Daydreamer

Jessica, already late for college, was running through the suburban station to catch the next train. Making her way through the busy office-going crowd, she somehow managed to reach her platform two minutes before the train arrived. As the train arrived, she prepared herself for another battle - getting into the train. She then squeezed through into the train and managed to get a part of railing to hold onto. In the next station, a lady sitting in the seat right next to her got down and she got that seat. Not only did she get a seat, but she also got a window seat. A WINDOW SEAT; which is a rare and extremely fortunate event to happen. 

Jessica could suddenly hear the Intro of "What makes you beautiful" playing. She looked around to find the source and suddenly the IT guy sitting opposite her started singing "You're insecure...Don't know what for..," as she looked at him surprisingly.

"You're turning heads when you walk through the d-oh-oh-or," the tea-wallah continued the song while filling tea in the cup.

Jessica got excited and continued, "Everyone else in the room can see it, Everyone else but you..."

And, the whole compartment – young, old, educated, uneducated – joined in for the chorus,
"Baby you light up my world like nobody else, the way that you flip your hair gets me overwhelmed... ..you don't know you're beautiful.."

"That's what makes you beautiful," ended the IT guy opposite to her,
and it was like a low-key "La La Land". 

'Excuse me, is Dadar the next station?' asked the IT guy to Jessica, who was sitting with her headphones on. She realized it all happened in her head, after all. This was no new thing to her because she had always been a 'daydreamer'.

Jessica took off the headphones and gave a clueless reaction. Meanwhile, the guy sitting next to her told him, 'It is.'

As the IT guy got up and made his way through the crowd to get down, Jessica realized that it was her station as well. She unplugged the earphones and hurried, but the train left before she could make it to the exit.

As she watched the train leave the station, in dismay, "That's what makes you beautiful...," played aloud on her phone. She flinched and turned it off.

'Seems there's a band competition next week in St.Xavier's,' said Jessica while coming back after college. 'What say?'

Anusha, walking with her on the road, quickly responded ' In our band called "3 warriors", one warrior can't make it. So, not possible.'

Jessica looked unhappy and wished she was in a proper band rather than the current one which comprised of - Zakir aka Zach, the guitarist; Anusha, on the keys and of course, Jessica, lead singer.

'Chalo, as if some famous music director or producer is going to come as a guest, get hell impressed by my performance and give me a chance. Whatever,' Jessica jaded.

'Don't worry Jess, you'll make it,' said Anusha.

'Make what?'

'Maybe next Taylor Swift.'

'Taylor Swift, huh?' Jessica smirked. 'I will be happy as long as I don't end up as next Dhinchak Pooja,' she said as they reached the station. She stopped momentarily and continued 'Having a career in music, even a small one, would do. All I would ever want.'


It's almost two years after Jessica uttered those words. Now, she has exactly what she wanted back then but she's not the same enthusiastic, daydreamer she used to be. Things have changed in the past two years. An unexpected tragedy in life has left her completely broken inside. Though she tried hard to hide her pain behind an indifferent attitude, it showed up anyway.

Jessica and her band were prepping for an upcoming gig, in her apartment where she used to live with her parents once. After her dad retired, her mom and dad moved to her native place, leaving behind the house for her. 

Zach is now a busy musician playing for several musicians were part of her band and one of the two founding members, the other member being Jessica. Apart from both of them, the band consisted of two other members - the drummer and the other vocalist. They usually recorded and uploaded covers on YouTube and rarely did some small gigs. Their channel had pretty decent subscribers of 500k, all of which was due to her popularity as the finalist of a singing reality show called "Harmony".

'Let's take break guys,' said Zach after completing a song. Jessica grabbed a water bottle and headed to the living room. She switched on the television and sat on the couch, drinking water. 

Zach arrived with his phone in the hand, 'Dude, see,' he said as he sat on the couch beside her.
Jessica peeped into his phone as he continued, 'Our latest video has the lowest number of views among all of our others, including that horrendous "Sorry" cover. Not only do this, but the last few videos also didn't well. If it goes on like this, then we're in trouble.'

'Don't worry Zach; next one will be dope,' said Jessica casually, changing channels on the television.

'You don't give a fuck, don't you?' Zach got annoyed by her attitude and started dropping truth bombs, 'Dude, there was a time when you were the finalist of "HARMONY" and people would consume any crap you put out there. But it's been one year and people have almost forgotten you. Even the winner of that show is not doing well. You were only one of the three finalists - second runner-up. That should explain our state.'

Jessica was looking at the TV but the things said hit her hard. 'You'll have to up your game to survive,' said Zach in a very serious tone before leaving the room.

As Jessica was thinking about all that he said, "This Town" - a song very close to her heart - played on the TV. She stared at it with a painful look in her eyes. Her eyes mildly teared up and she felt gutted. But before that sadness could take over, she turned off the TV and left the couch.