I wish I had told you

A Flicker Of Hope

Jessica and Zach were at a high-end party, dressed in fancy clothes, having a drink, and judging the guests around.

It's been around six months since that music festival, and her performance that day did change her life. The performance was so talked about that her tore and dirty clothes became a statement. Her panic attacks didn't go away altogether but became rare. She did more shows and made more songs. Things were going well. And, oh yeah, Jay got married to Rahul - unofficially. Jessica still thinks about Ankit though, now, all those memories brought a smile to her face rather than tears. Anyway, she always avoided certain obvious triggers which still had the potential to pull her into that dark place where the past seemed like the present.

As some known faces arrived, Jessica and Zach were up chatting with them. It was a beach party. While Jessica was chatting, she couldn't help but badly wanted to take a solitary walk along the shore in the moonlight, enjoying the cold water that would sweep her feet at every step. While Zach and a friend of his, he got up and went for a drink and some private talk, Jessica found it the right time to leave as well. She got up and walked towards the inviting beach and away from the noise of the party. But while going past the "live" set, she found the vocalist's voice quite familiar. She went ahead a few steps but then she decided to take a look at the vocalist.

As she went through the small crowd, some dancing and others just enjoying and cheering, to take a look at the singer - it was no one she knew. Still, his magical voice made her stay and listen to him. He finished singing a song and gave a little speech before the next song. 

 'The next song is a very special song. Really close to my heart. Hope, you enjoy it,' said the vocalist. As he finished, the crowd cheered.

"Waking up to kiss you and nobody's there..." As he started singing those lines, Jessica's heart skipped a beat. 

It was the prime trigger she had been avoiding for the past few months. Somehow, she never happened to come across it as well and it seemed as if she had come past Ankit, but just after hearing that opening line, all those sadness came rushing back. That too, his voice was eerily similar to Ankit's. She just froze. Though she wanted to run as far as possible from there, she couldn't. Somehow it felt as there was no other escape other than going through it.

Meanwhile, Zach started looking for Jessica as he heard the song. He pulled out from the conversation with his friend and went looking around for her in the farthest points from the live set, thinking she would be as away from it as possible.

When he sang, "It's hard..." Her eyes were filled with tears. 

She wanted to move away before she cried. As she turned around to walk away, she couldn't hear the song anymore. His microphone got turned off, probably a technical error. The crowd immediately shouted, "Aw, man" in unison.

After a couple of minutes, the song resumed in a different voice – a female voice. Zach, as he heard it, quickly ran towards the live set. He went past the small crowd and it was Jessica, singing the song. He was shocked to see her singing that very song she always avoided to listen even.

While people afar from the set were into their own conversations, the crowd around the live set was completely silent, keenly listening to Jessica. Jessica did get gutted but managed to sing the song well. With that in-built emotion in her voice - for the song, the crowd was completely mesmerized and into it. She changed the lines of the bridge,

"I know that you're gone, and I should move on, but there's something about you..."

She continued with the chorus and sang the rest of the song. As she finished the song and the crowd gave a loud cheer and, applause. Zach, right in the front, was clapping proudly. She smiled, one that had a lot of pain beneath it yet a hopeful one.