Things I Hate About Warriors Fanfiction

Let's Talk About Suicide

If you clicked on this, you already know what it's about. But a big ol trigger warning anyway - don't read this if you're in a vunerable state and you feel that this may trigger you to want to harm yourself in any way.

So. Suicide. It's a big topic, huh. The scary stuff. People have been exploring it in fanfiction for years. And getting it so, so wrong.

But who am I to tell you what's wrong and what's right about portraying suicide? Do I really think I'm that important? Uh, well, I'm a suicide attempt survivor. I have been involved in the mental health recovery community and have friends who have attempted as well. Oh look, I even have my official certification!

Sorry for the dark humor, I'm trying to make some of this lighthearted because parts of this will be heavy, and show you that I'm not some random, inexperienced person telling you how suicidal characters should be written. But please remember that my experience is not the only experience or the inherently right one. Everyone experiences suicidality and mental illness in different ways, and none of those ways are "wrong."

The first mistake I see, the less serious one, comes from a lack of critical thinking and understanding of the reasons behind suicide. I see a lot of suicidal warriors characters whose suicidal thoughts boil down to "I want to die." The suicidal character will be hurting, and their inner monologue will be all about "I want to die because that will fix everything." And that makes no sense to me. These cats have a StarClan. They have a definite, tangible, inarguable afterlife. Medicine cats visit it, communicate with it. There's no uncertainty. What makes death seem like a good option when you're suicidal is that it's a way to end things. To get out of your situation. To stop hurting. Because it's the end. There's no afterlife, no definite one at least. When you're gone, you're gone. It's oblivion. But in a Clan setting, the existence of StarClan changes that. Dying doesn't end your character's situation and it doesn't offer any finality. Your character is just in StarClan feeling the same way they did before. Any reason causing their suicidal ideation still exists. There's no escape.

When characters are just going around parroting "I want to die" as their sole reason for wanting to kill themselves, it shows a lack of understanding of suicidal ideation. It's so much more than just wanting to die. Suicide is a deeply complex issue; its affected by systemic and societal issues, brought on by mental illness and life circumstance. Thoughts of "I want to die" are the way these issues are expressed. I'll take full accountability; I wrote a character just like this. Aubade in Sirens. She attempted suicide because she was sad about the state of the world or something? I can't even remember. And at the time, I thought that was an accurate portrayal because I was young and didn't understand suicide. All my knowledge of suicide was came down to "I want to die to escape this situation." Because that's what my suicidal thoughts were like at the time. We'll come back to this point.

So please, when you're writing a suicidal character, their reasoning should be deeper than wanting to drink escape a situation. Deeper than "I hate myself so I'm going to die to run away from myself." I see that one a lot. It doesn't work because they're literally just gonna wake up in StarClan, still with the same feelings and situation they had before. You need to understand the mental illness and background factors driving their suicidal thoughts. How does the world around them impact their mental health? Men are more likely to commit suicide, likely due to the culture we foster in the western world where men should not share their emotions, should not go to therapy. So they repress their shit until they burst. Misogyny, poverty, transphobia, homophobia, ableism. These societal factors have a huge impact on suicide. And while not all of this will be applicable to Warriors, it's important to understand these things, otherwise your portrayal comes off as shallow. Mental illness is impacted hugely by systemic and societal issues, and you should always take into account the culture and environment within your protagonist's Clan. You don't have to go too deep into this if you don't want to, but please don't go down the "I hate myself so I want to die route" because in a Clan setting it just doesn't work.