Dramonie - Love don't cost a thing-

Learning to trust.

~Hermione~ -Edited-
 

How can one person be so wrong about another? Why did i trust in the connection that i had with Ronald when i opened the door, i ignored my instincts because i was afraid to listen and know that he had changed and not for the good but the worse and the replications of that decision meant i nearly died.   Being in denial is a thing that i would never have thought i would be in, let alone a situation like this.  How did it come to this? It was a subtle start, barely noticeable but there were tiny signs but the denial made me look past it, trying to think the best of him, remembering all the good times we shared together. 

Okay i admit it I was wrong about Ronald. I should have realized that this could happen, but being to wound up in my own self i ignored them.  I now know that he's a jerk,he nearly killed me for goodness sake, like who does that and laughs about it, someone crazy that is what.  Can i blame him though we have all been through a lot, done what we needed to do to survive, but i had not done anything to deserve what i got teaching me a lesson. Simple words expressed through conversing would have been enough, being civilized and deciding that it was time that we both moved on rather than this outcome. Where on earth did he learn to use violence to get his way? Was it the war, did it really change him this much?

When i passed out from the attack that Ronald had done against me i knew then that I had to get out of there.  If he was capable of causing this to me then it was just a matter of time before he really caused damage to me, and i have no idea if he would continue to do that to me every time he found fault in me. But my instincts warned me, it was something deep inside me telling me i had to leave before he came back and finished the job, i couldn't turn to Harry as we both lived in the same house and so i would n't be safe, the only other thought that came to mind was Draco, something inside of me told me Draco would help me, just like that same instinct told me i could trust him and thank goodness I was right about him. I would hate to think of what could have happened if i had not met up with Draco and passed numbers to each other. I shudder at this thought, that is my biggest fear that if i had not left what else would he have done to me, and that leaves me open to nightmares of all the possibilities that he could have done to inflict pain on me.

Since the attack i am at Draco's house, who would have thought that he was a gentle man making sure that i am on the path to recovering. I have been at his place for a week, recuperating, rest,rest and followed by more rest. I tell you this,too much rest can make you go crazy. Draco has been here serving me, making sure i am as comfortable as can be, he talks to me also making sure that i am doing well, reassuring me that Ronald can't hurt me being here.  He also said if i want he could go hurt him for me, but i just think that violence is not the answer.  I haven't heard from him since that day, i blocked his number and i am ignoring all there calls, i just can't do it, i can't handle seeing or hearing them right now.  Yes it is not their faults but right now i need to focus on me for once.

I am still getting nightmares from Ronald's attack on me,I am still in denial he has a problem and still don't want to accept he nearly killed me,I hear it and know it but my old self still longs for the old him. How sick does that make me sound?  Like seriously i should be mad at him for what he did to me, i would hate to see what i looked like when i finally came here to Draco's but what ever state i had been in, i know that it haunts Draco and makes him worry for me and has become over protective of me, barely letting me out of his sight.  I guess i don't blame him in a way it was bad, no scratch that i must have been in a horrific sight for him to take heaps of precautions for my safety.

"Mione,I think you need to see a psychiatrist."Draco says to me when he walks into his room, which in the time i have been here it has become our room, as if we are a couple which we are not. I just find it easier to sleep with him, way easier than if i was on my own, and if that doesn't shout out that i have an issue then i don't know what does. I look up from my book, I  stare at him as if he's grown three horns, because i really don't feel like addressing the issues that i have, i have accepted that i was in the right place at the wrong time and maybe possibly it was my fault that it happened, i did egg him on when i basically made out with Draco in front of Ron, i had that coming to me.