Maybe It's You

One-sided Love

Kate remained sitting on the swings even though Jade already left a few minutes ago. She can't stop thinking about Carlos. She can't stop wondering how they end up in a one-sided love situation. 

She already knows that Carlos has a secret love for her since their high school days together. He is not really good in hiding his own feelings especially to her. They are best friends since childhood days so she knew him too well. At first, she felt relieved that Carlos never tried to confess to her because she doesn't know what to response. She really loves him but not in a romantic way, that's why she's afraid to reject him. She doesn't want to want to give him false hope. But even though he never officially confessed his love for her, she knows that his heart keeps on breaking because of her. 

That's why when Carlos left to study in a University that is kilometers away from their place, she told herself that maybe, just maybe, his absence can make her heart realized his real importance to her.

 Maybe, just maybe, their distance will make her open her heart for him. 

Maybe, just maybe, as the days go by, she will finally see herself falling in love with her own best friend.

 "I'm so sorry for hurting you over and over again, Carlos." Kate said, thinking about him. Her mind and heart are full of words for him. "I want you to be happy. But too bad, you can't be fully happy because of me, Carlos. I'm so sorry." 

The rain started pouring, but she didn't even flinched. She remain sitting on her spot, letting herself get soaked by the rain. She closed her eyes, letting the rain punished her even though she thinks that the cold rain will never be enough as a punishment for breaking Carlos' precious heart countless times. 

"Hey! What are you doing there, stupid?!" She heard a familiar voice. When she opened her eyes, she saw Carlos standing in front of her. He is covering both of them from the rain using his jacket that he took off. 

"Are you crazy? You know that you easily catch a cold, right? Why are you letting yourself get soaked from the rain, stupid?" He scolded her, but concern and worry are obvious in his tone. 

Kate smiled but she can't stop her tears from falling. "Carlos... I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry for hurting you." 

"What are you talking about, Kate? Let's go back to the dorm now." He hold her hand, but she remain frozen on her spot. "What's wrong? Why are you crying, my princess? Stop crying like a baby. Let's go home now, okay?"

 She shook her head. "I don't deserve staying by your side, Carlos. I don't deserve your kindness, your sweet acts and your attention. I don't deserve your love, my best friend." 

He felt his heart aching but she still gave her a warm smile. "Why are you acting so weird, Kate? Are you in delirium now? Let's go back to the dorm so that you can continue your drama without the pouring rain soaking both of us, okay?"

 "I don't want to break your heart over and over again, Carlos." She said, stand up, then looked straight in his eyes. "Do you love me, Carlos?"

He can feel his heart beating so loud. Standing so close to her like this might drive him crazy. "I-I love you. I mean... I love you as my bestfriend, Kate."

 "You're not really good in lying, Carlos. Just be honest with me. Are you... in love with me in a romantic way, my best friend?" She asked, trying hard to control her nervous heart. She already knows the truth but she wants hear it from him.

 He gulped nervously. "I-I'm sorry. I'm so sorry for being so selfish, Kate. I shouldn't feel this way. I shouldn't let myself fell in love with my own bestfriend but... I don't regret this. I will never regret giving you my heart. I love you, Kate." 

He felt happy for finally confessing his love for her, but he's afraid to hear her response. He perfectly knows that she doesn't feel the same for him, he perfectly knows that they are in a one-sided love situation, but still, he is foolishly hoping that she can finally love him back. 

"I love you, so much, Kate. My love for you is not just platonic. I'm sure that I'm in love with you in a romantic way, my best friend." He said, looking straight in her eyes. He cupped her face, then gently caressed her cheek with his thumb. "Can you... be my girlfriend, Kate?" 

She smiled bitterly, then avoided his eyes by staring on the ground. Her action made his already broken heart broke into million pieces more. 

"I-It's okay. You don't have to answer now, Kate. I can wait, I can always wait for you." He said with a smile, but tears are falling down from his eyes. "My love will always be here for you. My heart will always stay in love with you, my princess."

"Don't. Don't do that for me, Carlos. Just... help yourself to get over me. I don't deserve your love. I'm so sorry." She said looking up at him, but closing her eyes. She can't look at him because she doesn't want to see him hurting. "I can't love you back, Carlos. I can only love you as my bestfriend, no more than that. I'm so sorry."

 He chuckled bitterly but he can't stop crying. He started bursting into tears so she hugged him tight, but her eyes are still closed.

 "You can cry your heart out tonight, Carlos. But don't stop yourself in finding your own true love." She said, holding him so tight. She's so hurt and guilty for rejecting him, but she thinks this is better instead of giving him false hopes. "Maybe, your own true love is just waiting for you. Don't close your heart for someone else, Carlos." 

He is crying too hard now making him dropped the jacket covering their heads from the pouring rain. But they don't mind the cold pouring rain soaking both of them now. What matters is they are together but crying in each others arms tonight. 

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A/N: Who needs tissues, everyone? Anyway, thanks for reading.