We got a new PE teacher, like I knew we would.
"Hello, ladies!" She said in such a cheerful voice. It almost made me smile.
"I'm so excited to be here at Cabrillo High School! It looks like a really great school...now, anyways. My class is tough. But if you try hard....I know you can make it. You can do anything you set your mind to."
I raised my hand. "I'm Sandra. And that's true. You can....as long as you're not having your period of blindness."
She looked blankly at me. I sighed. For a minute, I could see into her eyes. When anyone stares at me for long enough, I can. I can see your character. Your hopes, your dreams....it almost puts me in a trance...
"Sandra?"
Trances are illusions. Even most colored eye people know that.
"You are supposed to be running. Go on, catch up!" Wow. My teacher didn't treat me differently, even though she found me weird by what I said. I know she did. I saw it in her eyes.
We were running. As we were almost done, a girl fell on the track. The bratty kids ran over her. People really disgust me at times.
"Sandra!!! I think I broke my leg!" She was screaming in pain. How did she even know my name? No one accosiates with me.
"SANDRA!" She cried out.
I didn't respond. I just couldn't.
She was now screaming bloody murder. Speaking of blood....
"PLEASE! PLEASE HELP ME!" She shouted. I looked at her, deep into her eyes.
"I....I can't. I'm sorry. If I help you, you'll depend on me. And I ruin things. I always do. I see too much..."
I know she didn't hear me. I didn't even hear myself over her screaming.
I couldn't hold it in any longer.
"STOP SCREAMING!" I yelled, silencing the whole school, including her. She did, however, whimper in pain.
Pain.....
"Listen to me." I said quietely, as the rest of the class continued running again. "You think you are in pain, don't you?"
She was about to scream. I covered her mouth. "Think?" She cried in a muffled voice. "I'm dying!"
"No, you're not, you're..." How will I explain this? I looked deep into her eyes again. Blue, like the ocean itself had found its way into her eyes. I'm sure she thought I looked the same.
"You're....you're not going to believe me." I told her, my voice breaking. "But.....pain.....it's an illusion. It really, truly is....you're not in pain, you just think you are. You have to convince yourself you're not....will the pain away."
Tears welled her colorful eyes. She didn't understand, of course she didn't. Bet she was going through her period of blindness, too.
"You can numb yourself....if you want to be okay, that's what you have to do....it's going to be harder if you're left handed...."
Her eyes said it all.
"And....you are." She nodded, still crying in "pain."
"I don't.....don't expect you to be able to do this." I honestly told her. "It's even slightly hard for me...due to my hand, as well. But....you can at least try."
She looked down at the blood.
"Blood helps us grow." I told her, turning her attention on me again. "I'd feel terribly sorry for someone who's never lost any blood. What a pitiful life they must live."
She cried yet again. It was very obvious she was weak.
"Will it away." I told her. "Try with all of your might..."
She was blue eyed. She couldn't. I knew this in the back of my head. But, I decided to will that away, as well.
"Try!" I commanded, crying out.
She closed her eyes tight, and cried more. "Not real..." She whispered.
"Nothing is..." I responded.
She screamed in agony. "I can't do this!"
I looked up at her, opened my mouth, closed it again, and walked away.
"SANDRA COME BACK!!" She screamed. I shook my head. "No point. You said you can't. So you can't."
"PLEASE!!! PLEASE HELP ME!!" I slowly walked back to her, and whispered, "You know what to do. You have to believe pain is an illusion for it to work." I searched through her eyes, hoping to find something, anything, to help. They were cloudy inside. Period of blindness, of course.
She honestly expected me to help a blue eyed, left handed person going through their period of blindness. It was almost impossible. I sighed, my eyes boring into hers.
She began shaking uncontrollably. "Not real!" She screamed. "IT'S NOT REAL!" After about 20 of those, her screams got slightly less. Her eyes became slightly less cloudy, too.
"LIFE ISN'T REAL, EITHER!" She cried, blood flowing out. After a while, she stopped all together. My eyes widened.
"Your period of blindness....it's over." I whispered in awe. "I've never seen blindness actually leaving someone before....it's...amazing..."
She looked up at me weakly, with a look in her eye I had seen too many times before.
Oh no.....Not again....
"You're dying, aren't you?" I asked.
With her last breath, she whispered,
"I never lived."
