Forbidden Love

Calming Down

We started to head towards the nurses office. My head was still spinning with thoughts, I was glad that only Desiree, Max, and Sam were the only ones at the fountain. There was also no one in the halls, as everyone went to eat lunch.

After a little bit of walking I felt some of my body shut down. It started with my knees and I fell. It scared Desiree, she was trying so hard to keep it together for me, she hated seeing me like this it made her feel sad. I couldn't move at all so my sister, God bless her, dragged me to the side of the hallway and she pulled out her phone and called Mom. That was a mistake on her part, Mom hated being disturbed when she worked.

So if she didn't pick up now we both would get yelled at later. She answered grumpily.

(Mom)"What?"

(Desiree) "Mom Finn is having a really bad panic attack and I can't get him to the nurses office what should I do?"

(Mom) "You should have called your dad"

(Desiree) "No no no no! You can't do this to me again just- Desiree got cut off by her mom, hanging up.

She sat there in shock for a second and then quickly called Dad. "Please pick up please" she mumbled under her breathe. He didn't pick up, what are we supposed to do now. "I'm gonna call Grandma is that okay?" She asked me quickly. I nodded not able to speak and desperate for help. Yet feeling like a burden to my family.

I have severe anxiety, include 2 different types, social and separation. It sucks, overthinking everything everyday, it's frustrating for my parents because I have asthma too, my mom always hated me for it, my dad is always forgiving but close minded. Also because my anxiety makes it hard to talk to people I have depression. It goes untreated and ignored along with my anxiety because my mom can't (won't) spend that much money on a problem child aside from a medication that doesn't work well.

(Desiree) "Hello Grandma?"

(Grandma) "Yes dear?"

(Desiree) "Oh thank God Finn is having a really bad panic attack and I can't get him to the nurses office can you come and pick us up?"

(Grandma) "Yes sweety I'll be there in a couple minutes can you stay on call till I get there?"

(Desiree) "Yeah I will thank you."

(Grandma) "It's not a problem."

After a while Grandma finally got here and came to us because Desiree told her where we were. They both lifted me up and brought me to the car. Desiree and I sat in the back so she could try and calm me down. Tears started streaming from her face. I knew she couldn't bear to see me like this any longer. I tried my best to calm down with no success.

Desiree had gotten really worried by now, with the thought of me having triggered an asthma attack which hadn't happened yet. "Grandma can you drive to Dad's work to see if he can calm him down?" Desiree asked with a shaky voice.

"Yes I can don't worry it will be okay." Grandma replied.

We made it to Dad's work, Desiree got out and into the building to look for Dad telling Grandma to stay with me. She finally came out of the building with Dad who saw me and rushed to me. As soon as he was by my side I started to calm down slowly to the point were I could speak again.

He started saying, "Finn tell me 5 things you can see."

"Y-you, G-grandma, D-desiree, g-grass, and t-the c-car."

"Okay good tell me 4 things you can feel."

"y-you, my p-pants, the s-seat, and w-warmth from the s-sun."

"Very good now tell me 3 things you can hear."

"You, D-desiree, Grandma."

"Okay 2 things you can smell"

"Your c-cologne, the g-grass."

"Good now tell me 1 thing you can taste?"

"My saliva." I had got my breathing back to normal. "Thanks Dad," I say and gave him a hug.

"Its not a problem bud, you did a good job," he replied. "Well I should probably get back to work and you guys need to get to school," said Dad he sighed and waved to us.

"Hey Finn are you ready to go back to school?" Grandma asked. I nod and buckle my seat belt. Desiree stays in the back with me. We make it back to the school just as lunch was ending. Desiree helped me find Sam so I wasn't alone. Soon I warmed up to her and stopped stuttering around her so much.