Despite All Obstacles Part V

Guilt Trap

WARNING: BRIEF SEXUAL ACT AND BLURRED LANGUAGE

BARBARA'S STORY

Tuesday, September 25th. (Yesterday)

Again. Too guilty to relax. Not really chilling, but on a guilt trip. See the crew tomorrow...Sigh.

Wednesday, September 26th

This morning.

I wake up for school. I have a night routine after supper. I usually pick out an outfit that I'll be wearing the next day after a cold shower, brushing my teeth, washing my face and then puttin' on my PJs for bed.

Every morning, I take a warm quick shower, brush my teeth, wash my face, put powder and body oil on, get dressed, and then walk to my school bus for breakfast. I only take warm showers when I menstruate. TMI....

Momma makes sure I take my antidepressants in front of her, every time I'm abouta leave the house. I read somewhere about bulimia that your teeth will rot, but my teeth stay pearly white. Thanks to momma. I haven't purged since momma started inspecting my health and preventing me from eating all the snacks I picked out.

"Good thing I make you take your meds every day," she says and nods, inspecting the inside of my mouth. She does this to make sure my teeth stay white as pearls and my pill's always swallowed, at all times.

Once I step inside the bus, I listen to gospel. The school bus drops us off. During breakfast, I eat with Chastity. Bro and Shortcake eat with their peeps. Shortcake eats with the mafia crew, bro eats with his Anime Club, and I eat with the big teens.

Once it's 7:55AM, we walk to homeroom. I see Shortcake and bro leaving their peeps and join together. I thought they only come together when they're around Patt. Guess I assumed.

Today's Day B. I stop at Chastity's homeroom. "Luego, girl! See you tomorrow, or lunch again!" She happily walks in, and I observe Shortcake and bro socializing, without Patt around. I guess they're really a thing. I walk to my locker on the same floor, then step into AVID.

After AVID, I get ready for music. I'll see my crew there. I wanted to go to that game on Saturday, but I wasn't feeling it. I hope I don't bump into Matt. That was a one-time thing. That can never happen again.

I close my locker and turn to see Matt bouncing on Goldilocks across the hall like Robyn did Patt in the janitor closet, out in the open in a busy hallway. It literally looks like they're doing it, but with clothes on. Her posse aren't around, not even Robyn. Whatever I'm seeing can't be unseen.

"Dang, Matt! You dirty dog!" Brandon says and smacks fives with him. They're both wearing the same Parrots' varsity jackets.

"Happy Hump Day, bro!" Matt says to him, and I watch Brandon walk away. I face Matt flirting with Goldilocks. I feel hurt. They walk away with their arms around each other. Goldilocks happily giggles and Matt kisses her cheek, like they're a fling.

I think I'm gonna be sick. I rush to the girls' room and run into a stall to gag. I breathe heavily, holding on the stall. I feel so used. I can't believe this. I walk out the stall and look at myself in the mirror. Tryna remember who I am. I rush to music.

I get a late pass from Charles Justin, this racist hall monitor. "Late again's detention," he says.

"What? No warning?" I sass him. I can't stand him.

"Don't get sassy with me, girrrlll." He did not just roll his neck at me and tried to act like a black woman. I twitch my left eye at him.

"Warning for threatening me with your eye, girlfriend." Ooooo, I really wanna hurt this fool. I clutch my knuckles and purse my lips.