Only With You || Soukoku

|| Regrets ||

Timeskip: The Next Day

I rolled on my bed and started to wonder...

What have I done..?

I didn't mean to do that. And because of that- he already knows I like him... I'm so careless! You're such a very big idiot, Dazai!

He might not go to school again mainly because of our fight yesterday. I wonder if he'll really tell me the truth..? Or Nah, he'll just remain silent all his life.

I can't believe that my feelings came to him first. I guess I fell for the wrong person.

But I still regret the fact that I just burst out shouting and rambling yesterday. I wonder how is he now..?

Wait- why am I worried? I'm just guilty! I don't even care if he cries blood right now! I'm just not ready to face him yet.

- Chuuya's POV -

That bastard! Why... Did he tell me that he likes me? I know he is just lying!

But no! I'm not falling for that! He's probably saying that to shut me up!

If only I could've given him the chance to speak! Dang it, you're such a fucking asshole, Chuuya!

I really made a big mistake. I could've listened to him in the first place.

But still, I don't want to tell him the truth. But should I?

Maybe when I'm ready to

He just told me that I can only face him if I'm ready to tell him about it

But that's the point. I just... Can't do it...

I can't tell him! I don't want him to know! But even if I did.. He'll avoid me for life! 'Cause I don't want to lose him... As my friend...

I can't like him! I don't like him! And he doesn't like me! The one he said yesterday was only a lie! I know he likes someone else...

Hah... Who am I kidding? I know there's someone better than me anyway. Besides, if he likes me, then how did he get all the courage to confront me like that at the wrong time? He's only a man of words. So pathetic.

I hope he gives me time... Then maybe one day, I'll soon tell you everything... It's just not the right time. Because you said you want to know the truth, right? We'll soon get in there, and I'll tell you everything you need to know...

I won't hide anything from you anymore. And I won't regret it until the end of my life.

But I don't want you to get hurt... I just hope you'll not leave me after I tell you everything.

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It's been a long day and I haven't talked to anyone around me. And also Dazai (well obviously)

But how about our project though? We're still partners. Should I talk to him?

No, nevermind. He said that I'll not face him until I'm ready, to tell the truth. I'll just save it for now. It's up until the end of the year anyway so I don't mind not talking to him yet.

I guess I should be going. I don't want to bump into anyone around me... Especially him.

Should I tell auntie about this..? I don't think so...

She just warned me about Dazai, but... How come when every time she mentions him, I get hurt..? Is it because I'm not allowed to like anyone? Or is it because of me being scared to like anyone else again?

I don't know if it's both, but I'm so confused!

I think I have to confront her about this!

She has to know what's happening...

And I know this won't go well...

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End of chapter

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Edited: 7:34 am (Nov. 27, 2020)