day by day

change

i'm sorry that you're hurt
but i can't keep doing this.
people change.
i changed.
i moved for the sole purpose of change
i'm sorry i've become a new person
but i like who she is
she's happy and she's not careless.
she's smart and she's fearless.
but she would never cause damage that could last a lifetime.
she's smarter then that.
i'm not a bad person and i don't make bad choices.
you're seeing what you want because you're blinded by anger.
you don't see that
but i do.
i can see you're hurt
and i understand.
but you must also understand
that you are breaking my heart.
but what i don't understand is how i am asking for too much.
i'm still here.
i haven't given up on you.
every time you text me i am here.
i force myself to mentally be here for you.
all i asked you for was to support me in this and maybe try and get to know the person i'm becoming.
because i want you to know her too.
but maybe you're right.
maybe you won't like her.
maybe you don't.
but i also understand that.
i'm new.
you got to know someone who was damaged, broken and smothered by the memories of people past that surrounded her every day.
she had been washed away.
but here
she can shine.
she is beautiful.
she is healing.
and i love her.
i'm finally who i've always wanted to be.
and i'm sorry you don't like that.
i can't apologize enough.
but i'm also not going to smother my shine for anyone anymore.
it's like you said.
"stand up and stand out"
my love for you is everlasting
but maybe this friendship is not.
if you don't like who i am.
then i'm afraid there's no more room for me in your life.
and for that,
i also apologize.
but i am not sorry for finding my heaven and not running from it.
i'm not sorry for being strong.
or for being brave.
i just wish you could be part of it.
i wish you could support me unconditionally the way i thought you did.
but really
i didn't think i was asking for too much.