A Victim's Aftermath [MEDICAL SERIES #2]

CHAPTER 05: Standards of Society

TW: sexual trauma

JAYLA

"I'M sorry, Janica."

I bit my lower lip to stop myself from crying but I can't. It's impossible. Because the only thing I can do now is to cry.

"I'm sorry. Patawarin mo ko kung nararanasan mo 'to."

I extended my neck hoping that my tears will gravitate back to my eyes. "Am I that bad?"

But it did not help because my tears automatically fell again. "Am I a bad person?" Marahas kong pinahid ang luha ko. "Is this some sort of punishment from heaven?"

Unti-unti siyang tumunghay at saka tumingin sa'kin. "Jayla..."

I stared at him, ni hindi ko na siya makita nang maayos dahil sa luhang namumuo sa mga mata ko. "I was raped at a young age, and now this? Sobrang sama ko bang tao?"

And here I am again, crying my heart out.

"No, Jayla. No." Tinanggal niya ang seatbelt niya at lumapit sa'kin. Hinawakan niya ang dalawa kong kamay. "Huwag kang mag-isip nang ganyan. You just have a strong personality but you have a soft heart. Sobrang buti ng kalooban mo so please, huwag mong pag-isipan nang ganyan ang sarili mo."

"Then bakit sa'kin nangyayari 'to?"

Hindi siya nakapagsalita at sandaling natulala na para bang hindi rin niya alam ang sasabihin. Pagkatapos ay yumuko siya at nagbagsakan ang mga luha niya. "You don't deserve this."

Marahan kong binawi ang mga kamay ko. "Ayoko munang umuwi, Nicco. I just want to stay in my unit. I just need some time for myself."

Sunod-sunod siyang tumango bago pahirin ang luha niya. "Sige, doon muna tayo sa unit mo."

"No, Nicco. I mean...I just want to be alone first. You should go home. You've been with me for three days already."

"Pero Jayla—"

"Nicco, please. I need time for myself."

Umayos siya ng upo at huminga nang malalim. Nakatingin siya sa malayo habang binubuksan niya ang ikalawang butones ng polo niya. "Hindi ko kakayanin na iwanan ka sa ganitong sitwasyon."

Hinawakan ko ang kamay niya kaya muli siyang napatingin sa'kin. His eyes is filled with many emotions: regret, guilt, worried, in love. "I'll be fine, Nicco. I promise."

He stared at me for a while as if he's reading my emotions as well. Then he nodded spontaneously. "I'm just a one call away, Jayla. If you need someone, tawagan mo lang ako at paliliparin ko 'yong kotse ko."

I smiled a little.

"Lagi kitang kukumustahin kay Ate Mira."

I nodded.

He then fixed the strands of my hair on my face that is now wet because of tears. "Aayusin ko 'to, Jayla. Pangako 'yan."

And I believe him. Dahil wala pa siyang pangako sa'kin na hindi niya tinupad.

Hinawakan niya ang isang pisngi ko at saka ako hinalikan sa noo. "I love you." Then he started the engine.

PINANGHAWAKAN ko ang pangako ni Nicco, na aayusin niya ang nangyari. I don't know how far he'll go to fix this but I trust him.

I stayed in my unit and locked myself inside my own room. Ate Mira knocked many times asking me to eat but I kept on rejecting her. I just buried my face on my pillow and the last thing I remembered is that I cried myself to sleep.

I jolted awake after another knock. "Ma'am Jayla, kain na po kayo. Kahapon pa pong walang laman ang tiyan ninyo."

I reached for my phone to look at the time. Nine AM na pala. Saka ko napansin ang ilang mga missed call ng mga kaibigan at family ko. Naka-silent kasi ang phone ko dahil ayoko ng istorbo.