Reptile - Janus Angst

Twenty Two

Blü looked at the unconscious Janus slumped in his lap.

The human was sweating and had a trickle of blood coming from the corner of his mouth that he must've coughed up. He was breathing but it was raggedy and shallow.

Blü didn't know what to do - just that he needed to know what Janus had been trying to say.

I don't know if he'll last much longer, he thought grimly, no trace of a smile on his face for once.

Then it started to go dark.

Blü looked up at the darkening sky, confused. Since when did the inside of the mind go dark?

He sat there for several moments, the sky only growing dimmer by each one, as he tried to figure out what was happening.

He felt Janus move slightly and looked down at him.

"You know what's going on?" Blü asked jokingly as he tried to laugh at their predicament.  "Of course not. You're out cold... unless that's the problem?"

His eyes widened with realisation and he facepalmed so hard he could've sworn the slapping sound echoed around the vast space.

It made sense now. Janus, even after coming here, was still in control of the body - in control of keeping it alive. With neither of them fronting, their body was dying!

Thinking fast, Blü closed his eyes and forced himself to front. Sure, there was an actual space they were supposed to go to to take control but he didn't have the time to get there now. This would have to suffice.

After a moment of envisioning himself in the space, Blü felt like a weight was placed lightly onto his shoulders. He opened his eyes and saw that the room had cease to darken further. Though, it wasn't getting any brighter either.

Sighing with relief, he looked back down at Janus who was blissfully unaware of everything that was happening.

Trying his best to concentrate, Blü summoned a bed and lay Janus down on it, careful not to bother his human counterpart's already damaged body.

What was he supposed to do? Did he go out and introduce himself as the new Deceit? No. No, that would be stupid. Especially as it seemed as though his body wasn't exactly fully functional.

He crossed his arms and tapped the heel of his boot in the dry water.

Ugh! What do I do?! Even if I did force the body to wake up, and somehow manage to stay conscious long enough to introduce myself, what are the chances that the others aren't going to ask questions? They're gonna wonder where Janus is aren't they? And... I've never fronted before... what would I actually do?

He looked down at Janus and brushed his hair out of his eyes.

"What would you do?" he asked, of course not expecting an answer.

He ran his hand through Janus' hair again and was surprised when Janus leaned into it, seemingly enjoying the feeling.

Blü's eyes shined. He couldn't lie, it was rather adorable.

Wait, no, he couldn't think about that now!

"Maybe I should try and save your life eh?" he asked, again, not expecting an answer. "Imagine me running our body on my own..."

He actually stopped to think about it. The first thing that came to mind was the questions he'd mentioned to himself a moment ago. Then there was the matter that Deceit would then be fully snake - an absolute liar with no humanity to keep him balanced... how had he not realised this earlier?!

He laughed softly, bitterly.

"Yeah... that would be a disaster."

...

Both of us.

He thought about Janus' words. Both of us... both of them...

A spark of understanding shot through his mind and he looked down at his human half.

"Both of us... both of us running the body... together?"

Janus moved his head slightly. It looked like he was nodding. Could he hear him?

Blü thought about that. Both of them together. A balance between human and snake.

It sounded nice, actually.

The small smile that had touched his lips vanished as he realised that that idea would never come into fruition. He'd caused his human half too much damage and now he was going to die, leaving nothing but a conniving snake in his place.

This... this isn't what I wanted.

He ran his fingers through Janus' hair again but didn't stop to think this time. He just kept going, carding his fingers through the human's soft locks.

All of earlier was gone from his mind too as he watched Janus press up against his fingers, curling up into a small ball, as Blü continued the brushing motion.

God damn it. Did he have to die looking so adorable?!

Maybe if we'd taken time to actually get to talk to each other, know each other better, he wouldn't be dying...

Again, what was he thinking? He'd literally just tried to kill Janus and now the idea of him dying sent a pang of pain through his heart? Was Thomas messing with lore again? Or was it something else?

Well, regardless of the cause, Blü didn't need long to figure out what he was feeling:

Desire.

It was a slowly growing feeling that sent a flutter through his chest. The desire to keep their body alive. The desire to talk things through and sort things out. The desire to keep his human half with him.

The desire to protect Janus.

He wanted to save Janus - save his humanity.

He bit his lip. How, though? If he was going to die then...

Blü turned away, angry, for a moment.

"Couldn't I just take his place? I've just been causing hell for him and his friends. The least I could do right now is-"

An idea crossed his mind. It was so utterly ridiculous it was almost hilarious but it weirdly felt like his best and only option.

He stood there for a moment, thinking it over, then turned to face the bed again.

He nodded slowly. It was the best idea, for both of them.

He gently lifted Janus up and got on the bed with him, resting the human's head on his lap, resuming his carding motion.

He smiled at him one last time.

"This is goodbye, Janus."

....

Gasp!