Starlight

Chapter 12

Chapter 12

"Oh my god, Theo. I didn't realize." Mae said horrified. She no doubt feels guilty, just like I do.

"It's fine, it was a long time ago and you didn't know." He said sighing, running his fingers through his hair. He always does that when he doesn't know what to say.

"You didn't tell anyone else?" Mae asked. I didn't have the courage to talk, not after he shared something so personal.

"No one, the mission was a classified mission remember." He said agitated, but I don't think it was with Mae. He sounded pissed at himself.

"Do you think Rob told anyone?" Mae kept asking questions. I suppose it's her job, but I don't know how much Theo can take it. Knowing that he must be sad or in pain, it must be torture. Speaking from experience.

"I have no idea, by the time I got back he was gone. I didn't even get to go to the funeral." He said frowning.

"Mae, I think that's enough for today." I said and she just nodded. I think she started realizing the affect her pestering had on Theo.

"Okay, I'll go through some names that were connected, Theo you go home and get some rest." Mae said heading back to her car. Once she drove away it was just Theo and I.

"I'll see you later, try getting some rest." I said awkwardly. I had no idea how to talk to someone with pain, now I know I must've been a pain to deal with.

"No way Drew." He said.

"It helps Theo, you'll feel better in the morning." I said reassuring him. He just smiled a little.

"I will, but remember I'm staying with you tonight because of the creep." He said. I felt a blush start to creep up, after him telling us about Rob I completely forgot Carson knows where I live.

"Oh right, well let's go up." I said, trying to break the tension. Although I'm about ninety nine percent sure that the tension was one sided based on Theo's smile. Although it fell when he saw my expression.

"But if you're not comfortable I can just wait outside." He said, probably remembering my past. My eyebrows furrowed, that wasn't why I was tense. But it's nice to know that if I need space he's willing to give that to me.

"No, sorry I'm just tired and sore and wishing this whole thing can just be over." I said as we got into the elevator. He frowned.

"I'm still not a supporter of the idea of using you as bait, it just seems stupid." He said, his tone angry. For some reason I smiled.

"But it's the only way to end this quickly. The only way that I can get rid of my fear." I said facing him. His eyes just narrowed.

"Putting Carson away isn't going to solve your problems Drew. You will always have fear. Take this from me, the actions you do or experience, don't go away in a moment. They never will, it stays with you. The only way to deal with it is accept it, not hide from it." He says leaning against the back of the elevator.

"You do realize you just indirectly told me to be bait." I said hiding a smile. Here he was trying to be all serious and usually I am, but whenever I'm with him my old side tends to appear.

"Drew, I meant figuratively." He scowled and I laughed, and pretty soon he was chuckling. When the doors open, the only thing I wanted was for the ride to be longer, even though it felt like the longest I've ever experienced.

"So the couch isn't packed yet so I'll get you an extra pillow and some blankets." I said. I kept an extra pair, but they were for Tom. I never expected I'd be making a bed for Theo.